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Successful Planning: Who Should Be Involved?

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!”

Benjamin Franklin

In no way am I claiming to be smarter than Ben Franklin, but I will take his quote one step further. Franklin was right that planning is very important, but more needs to be added. After all, he died almost 225 years ago.

In the realm of multi-generational family planning, for business families or families of even moderate wealth, it is very important to make sure that you have the right people at the table when it comes time to make the plans.

Let’s look at another great quote (author unknown) that is also very profound. I will give you the backstory in a second.

“Plans that are about us, but don’t include us, are not for us”.

This is a quote that I got from Matt Wesley, a man who I consider to be one of the gurus in helping families with the dynamics of their legacy planning work.

I first heard Matt mention this quote a few months ago during a teleconference presentation for the Purposeful Planning Institute. Then, a few weeks ago while he was co-presenting on another PPI call, an audience member quoted it back to him during the Q & A session.

He thanked the participant and then added a bit more context for those who had missed the original citation. It comes from New Orleans in 2005, post Katrina.

He told us that he got the quote from the work of Margaret Wheatley, who was examining the disaster of Hurricane Katrina. Actually, it was a series of disasters, starting with the hurricane, but then also the fallout from the government’s response, which for many people ended up making things worse instead of better.

So where did Wheatley get the quote? It was spray-painted on the outside of one of the flood-ravaged houses in New Orleans. The disaster of the government response stemmed largely from the fact that they were dictating what would be done, without consulting the people for whom it was to be done.

Anyone can make plans, but you will only know how good your plans are once you get to the implementation stage. If things fall apart then, it may have been due to poor implementation, but then, shouldn’t the implementation have been part of the planning too?

If you are planning how you will help people after a flood, you might want to ask them what they need.

If you are planning what assets you are going to leave to your children, and how they are supposed to work together to manage those assets, you just may want to get them involved during the planning.

Here are some common planning approaches:

  1. Parents and advisors make the plans, children find out after death.

Not great, usually pretty bad, family harmony is an afterthought, plenty of disappointment and lack of preparedness to go around.

  1. Parents and advisors make the plans, and inform the children of the plans as a “fait accompli”.

A little bit better, but only slightly. If the siblings get along alright, hopefully they can work through the details and still want to get together as one big happy family over the holidays every year.

  1. Parents and children (actually former children, now adults!) work together on plans, and decisions are made in the best interests of the entire family. Once they know what they want to accomplish, they THEN engage the advisors to fine-tune the details of HOW they will write it up.

Actually, I said that these were common approaches. The last one is easily the best, but it is not yet common enough.

Hopefully, we are getting closer to the point where parents are satisfied that they have done a good enough job as parents to allow their offspring to have some say in their destiny.

The old “it’s MY money, so I will decide what I am going to do with it” seems so 20th century to me.

 

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Over-Parenting: Worse than Neglect?

My wife and I were recently discussing a child who plays on a sports team with one of our kids, and at one point I uttered a statement that actually stopped me in my tracks.

The child in question seems to be very immature for their age, especially when it comes to social interaction.

“Terry always acts like such a baby, more like a first grader than a “X”th grader”, my child would say. My wife’s point of view was that the kid’s parents are to blame for this situation.

Our discussion then turned to the fact that the child’s parents are divorced, and so both parents are likely “over-parenting” the kid, to the child’s detriment. That’s when I said,“the kid would be better off if the parents chose to neglect them instead”.

Whoa! Really? Did I just say that?

Did I mean what I said, and could I back it up? Well here is to trying to explain it, at the very least.

What I see with this child, and others in similar situations, is that their parents have always been there to do everything for them, and as a result, the children are incapable of having any kind of a normal relationship with others.

One of the other parents from the team is a second grade teacher, and she said that she witnesses this quite often. Parents are trying so hard to be good parents, and doing so much for their children to “help” them, that the kids soon become unable to do anything for themselves.

We can all probably name a few people that we know who are able to function well in everyday life, and who are what one would call “well adjusted” and self-aware.

We all know people who live more at the other end of the spectrum, people who cannot figure anything out for themselves, cannot make a decision without lots of external input, and go from one unsuccessful life experience to the next.

What do the people in the first group have in common, and what do the people in the second group have in common? What is different about the two groups?

To me, the first group exhibits a certain degree of confidence, independence, self-esteem, and interpersonal ability to get along in life.

The second group is easily flustered, lacks self-esteem, has difficulty in relationships, and is generally unhappy with their lot in life.

Could the parenting that they experienced in their childhood have anything to do with who ends up in which category? (That was a rhetorical question!)

It is very easy to get into the habit of doing things for our kids. This reminds me of times when my kids were much younger and they wanted to “help” me do something, and when pressed for time I would reply, “no thanks, I’ll do it myself” because doing it with their help would actually take longer.

But what about my comment that neglect would be better for the kid. Well, if I could only choose between the two extremes of neglect and severe over-parenting, it would be a tough choice, but neglect might just win out.

Fortunately, nobody needs to make such a stark choice for their children. The key, like with so many things, is balance.

If you let your kids fend for themselves a bit more, but remain there behind the scenes “just in case”, you are probably doing them a favour in the long run.

Learning to let go is not necessarily easy, but it can be learned. We have choices to make, and one of the first ones is to choose to detach ourselves and let our children off of the leash, to go and run around and get dirty and maybe even get hurt.

You will most likely die before your children do. The time to begin to ensure that they will be self-reliant is now.

 

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What Is a Family Harmony “Breakthrough”?

Because I like to consider myself somewhat of a communications specialist, I attach a great deal of importance to my choice of words, as I always want to be as clear as possible about everything I say and write.

There is already plenty of miscommunication and misunderstanding going on out there, I certainly don’t want to add to it. I much prefer to help to try to clean things up instead.

At the behest of my business coach, Melissa, who has been working with me for almost a year now, I recently added a simplified service offering on my website, which we dubbed the “Family Harmony Breakthrough Package”. I have to admit that the word “breakthrough” took a while to grow on me, but now I love it.

Let me explain it a bit, in the hopes that its full meaning does not get lost in the “marketing-ness” of the way it may sound to some. I am all about the family harmony part, it was Melissa who came up with the “breakthrough package” part.

I won’t explain what family harmony is, but the other two words are something I would like to clarify. Let’s start with “package”.

In the field of family business advising, the offer the consultant makes to the family can never be easily and clearly defined to everyone’s satisfaction, and this contributes to the hesitancy that many families already have when it comes to bringing in an “outsider” to help them.

So, inspired by some coaches who offer a “six-month package”, or a “nine-month package”, I have now launched what I call the Family Harmony Breakthrough Package, where the term “package” is designed mostly to set out the stages and the boundaries of what is involved.

The package has pre-defined steps, has a clear starting point and end point, and a deliverable. The timeframe can vary due to complexity and logistics, but 2-3 months is about average. When a family signs on, they know in advance what to expect in terms of the process.

https://stevelegler.com/family-harmony-breakthrough-package/

I believe in the adage that it is important to under promise and over deliver, and that is the main reason that I hesitated to use the word “breakthrough” in the name of the package, but as I stated earlier, it grew on me. Let me tell you why.

Many families, if not most families, coexist in a state that I like to call “okay”. Everything is “okay”, pretty much. You may know this state by another familiar term, “fine”. Everything is just fine.

Okay and fine are a good place to be, right? Well yes, but…

A typical business family has a large number of moving parts, and an even greater number of relationships. On a day-to-day or week-to-week basis, “okay” and “fine” are much better than “crappy” and “lousy”.

One of the advantages that family businesses have over others is their long-term view, as the business is set up to provide for the needs of the family over future generations. Thinking long term, “okay” and “fine” just won’t cut it.

The key people will grow into new roles, the founders will age and exit, and the people involved will see their relationships change too, and not always for the better.

The breakthrough comes when some time and effort is put into looking at, thinking about, and planning where these relationships are now, and talking about how the people are going to work together in the future. There is a whole heckuva lot of inertia to overcome, and few families will do this on their own, without an independent outside expert to guide them.

The time to act is when things are going well. On my business card, I say that I am a “facilitator, coach, and mediator”. It is much more pleasant to work the first two roles, and less fun to mediate a dispute.

The back of my card has my tagline: Helping business families create the harmony they need, to support the legacy they want. Is your family ready for a breakthrough?

 

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When Did You Spring Forward?

The ritual takes place twice a year, and people handle it in different ways. For some, it is no big deal, for others it is a source of problems, from disturbed sleep patterns to missed appointments.

I am talking about changing our clocks because of the observance of Daylight Savings Time throughout most of North America and many other parts of the world.

After moving our clocks back an hour last November, two weeks ago it was time for everyone to “Spring Forward” an hour, in order to “save” an hour of daylight. The whole notion of “saving” daylight is ridiculous or course; all we are doing is making the daylight more convenient for most people.

As someone who enjoys observing people, I find it instructive to look at how different people handle some of these mundane situations, because you can often gather a pretty accurate picture of someone from how they handle relatively insignificant events.

Ever since I have known my wife, she has complained about having to change the clocks twice a year, while pointing out that the practice was started to help farmers, at a time in our history when they made up a far larger percentage of the population.

While she does like to complain about this twice a year, it really has not ever negatively affected her, but she just dislikes the inconvenience and the couple of days it takes to readjust her body clock.

Personally, I find it hard to relate to the people who are readjusting their watches and clocks on Sunday, ex post facto. Wow, did they really NOT see it coming?

OK, so maybe I am a bit extreme in my modus operandi; I start changing the clocks around the house right after supper on Saturday, along with my car and my watch. That way, I actually start to make my body clock adjustments in advance.

I do a similar “purposefully fooling myself” trick when I fly to a different time zone. As soon as I board the plane and get seated, I change my watch to the time of my destination city, and I begin to slowly adjust to my new reality.

When you know that something is going to change, why would you not begin to make the adjustments in advance if you could? That is a rhetorical question, but what the heck am I really getting at in this blog that is usually (at least tangentially) related to family business?

Well, if you know that some day you are going to retire and that you expect your children to be running the company, would it not make sense to start to act as if you realize that the day will arrive at some point? Maybe let them have an opportunity to make some decisions, or run a department or division without looking over their shoulders too much?

Also, if you know that you will someday actually retire to do other things, have you started to try to find out what those other things are going to be, so that you can prepare them and maybe actually find out what you are looking forward to doing?

If you do it right, you could actually accomplish both of these things simultaneously. Give your offspring (notice I decided against using the term “children” again, since they really are more like “former children” once they are adults) an opportunity to take on more responsibility AND also take some time away to work on figuring out what you will be retiring to.

You will help the rising generation to “Spring Forward” into the roles that they have likely longed for, and you will “Spring Toward” the lifestyle that you have been working so hard to obtain. Sounds like the ultimate Win/Win situation to me.

One more thing: When did you really “spring forward” in life, how old were you? How old are your offspring now?

 

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There’s Only So Much I Can Do

A few years ago, I adopted a new “mantra”, or “credo”, after a particularly stressful few months of my life. “There’s only so much you can do”, is how it went.

It is not that I had been a perfectionist beforehand or anything, but I was working pretty hard on a project and I became frustrated that it was not being as well received by everyone as I had hoped, and I became sensitive to some criticism of what I was doing.

Then one day it dawned on me that I was never going to make everyone happy, no matter how hard I tried, even if I bent over backwards. I resigned myself to doing my best, being satisfied with the effort and the result, and thinking, “to hell with it if some people aren’t happy”.

I actually began to frequently repeat the phrase around the house, so much so that my wife actually printed it out and framed it for me to put it up in my office, where I continue to see it daily.

If you have been paying close attention though, you will have noted a slight difference between that mantra and the title of this blog post. I still like the mantra as it is, but I have also come to a major realisation recently, which had me switch out the word “you” and bring in the word “I”.

Now I want to be clear about the reason for the change in words, and also to say that one saying is not necessarily “better” than the other, but that they are slightly different.

My wife might cynically say to me that my preference for the first person pronoun stems from the fact that I always act as if “it’s all about me”, but I would beg to differ.

Instead, I am looking at it more from the “personal responsibility” perspective. When we see the pronoun “you”, it looks like a second person pronoun, but it isn’t really, in this case, is it?

If I were to say, “there is only so much you can do” to a particular person, in response to a particular situation, then yes, it clearly is a second person pronoun.

But if I say it in the usual context in which I made it my mantra, it is really saying that there is a limit to what “any person” can do, which really makes it a third person pronoun, and what does that really mean?

To me, it is kind of like giving up, and not taking responsibility for MY part in it. During my coaching training, the course leaders often used a technique to drive this point home when a participant would use the pronoun “you” as I way to escape responsibility.

For example, someone would say, “you know, it’s really difficult, because you feel silly, you feel like you might be misunderstood, etc.” The instructor would feign confusion, and say “excuse me, who? Who is ‘you’? Do you mean ‘I’?”

If the person is speaking about himself, then the correct word is “I”, first person. But what is the reason for not saying “I”? In these cases, I think that the person is either trying to de-personalize it, and/or make it seem that that is the reaction that “any normal person” would have.

For me, saying that there is only so much “I can do”, is starting to feel more natural. It can be difficult to get someone to be more personally responsible for their actions, but like any habit, practice, more practice, and even more practice is required.

Once you have that down pat, there are surely others things you can work on too. Here is a suggestion: get rid of the word “but”, and substitute the word “and” in its place.

You may be surprised how much negativity you can get rid of with that simple change. And there is only so much I can do to make you try it!

 

 

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Mélanger les cartes d’affaires

Ayant récemment fait traduire mon livre en français, j’ai réalisé que mes cartes d’affaires anglaises seraient probablement mal perçues en compagnie de cette version de mon livre.

Un “business card” peut aller avec un “book”. Mais ça prend une “carte d’affaires” pour aller avec un “livre”. J’avais donc une autre traduction à faire. Et par la suite, ça sera la traduction du site web. En effet, des sites webs, en commençant avec le site spécifique au livre et finalement le site principal.

En traduisant la carte, j’ai fait une réflexion sur les différentes cartes d’affaires que j’ai eu au courant de ma carrière. Wow, de ma première, (Steve Legler Jr., B.Com., Marketing Manager, Tri-Steel Industries Inc.) jusqu’à ma plus récente, (Steve Legler, MBA, CFA, FEA, Conseiller, PME Familiales), j’en ai probablement eu une douzaine, sinon plus.

Il y a plusieurs décisions à prendre quand vient le temps de se faire une carte professionelle, surtout pour les gens qui travaillent à leur compte. Si tu travailles pour une compagnie, tes options seront sûrement limitées aux versions “standards” de la compagnie. Mais pour un “solopreneur”, c’est illimité.

Cette fois-ci, étant donné qu’il s’agisssait d’une simple traduction, il y avait moins de décisions, puisque les choix du logo, du style, des titres, etc. avait déjà été fait quand j’avais fait faire mes “business cards”.

Mais même à ça, il y avait assez de complexité. Comment dire “facilitator” en français? J’ai opté pour “animateur”, mais j’aurais pu aller avec facilitateur aussi.

Même mon titre principal de “Family Business Advisor” n’était pas nécessairement évident. J’ai finalement décidé que Conseiller PME familiales était la meilleure façon de dire ce que je voulais dire.

Les cartes d’affaires sont peut-être moins importantes ces temps-ci, étant donné que nos communications sont surtout électroniques et qu’une fois que j’ai ton numéro de téléphone dans mon iPhone et ton adresse courriel dans mon Outlook, j’ai plus ou moins tout ce qu’il me faut pour te contacter. C’est rendu presque plus important d’avoir une bonne “signature” sur ses courriels.

Dans certains pays, notamment au Japon, le rituel d’échange de cartes d’affaires est pris très au sérieux. Si un japonais vous donne sa carte et tu le mets tout de suite dans ta poche sans l’avoir étudiée comme il faut, il parait que c’est l’équivalent de lui sacrer une claque sur la gueule.

J’ai récemment fait un échange de cartes avec plusieurs personnes en même temps, autour d’une table, et j’avais ramassé les 4-5 cartes et les ai mises dans ma poche sans trop regarder. Plus tard, en les regardant comme il faut, je me suis rendu compte qu’un des monsieurs m’avait donné la carte de son assistante par erreur.

Quand je l’ai rencontré le lendemain, je lui ai signalé ce “mélange des cartes” et il s’est excusé et m’a donné une de ses cartes personnelles. Mais c’est là que je lui ai expliqué que si nous étions au Japon, j’aurais assurément remarqué l’erreur immédiatement. À moins que j’aurais voulu lui donner une bonne claque, bien entendu.

Mais une carte d’affaires a le potentiel de laisser une bonne ou une mauvaise impression sur quelqu’un. Et puisque nous donnons souvent notre carte lors d’une des premières rencontres avec quelqu’un, il peut s’agir d’une bonne ou mauvaise première impression.

Si vous êtes comme moi, quand vous recevez une carte “cheap” et mal pensée, vous commencez parfois à avoir des sérieux doutes sur le professionalisme de la personne. Ça fait partie de notre “branding”, quand même.

Quand je vous donne ma carte d’affaires, je le fais avec fierté, parce qu’elle n’est pas “cheap”, et je sais qu’elle est bien pensée. Vous pourrez la mettre immédiatement dans votre poche si vous voulez, et je ne serai pas offusqué pour autant. Et je ne vous donnerai jamais la carte de mon assistante par erreur, parce que je n’ai pas d’assistante!

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Martin Luther King – Family Business Sage?

This past week it was Martin Luther King Day in the US. This prompted a number of comments and mentions on social media, some of which were very educational and enlightening.

I am always on the lookout for blog inspirations, but this one caught me by surprise. I know that Martin Luther King made lots of inspiring speeches and was instrumental in moving race relations forward in the US, even if a lot of work remains to be done.

What I had never expected was to read one of his quotes and instantly have an “A-Ha” moment relating to family business, or, more importantly, business families.

Here is what someone tweeted last Monday, along with a photo of MLK:

“We must learn to live together as brothers or we will perish together as fools”.

I talk a lot about the importance of creating harmony within families, and it seems to me that his words “learning to live together as brothers” was intended to conjur up images of the prototypical “one big happy family”, even if such families are not really as common as one would hope.

The assumption is that within a family, strong bonds, based on brotherly love, should help everyone want to work together to remain a strong family. When one family member is sick or weak, the others pitch in, because they are family, and eventually they may need help and will expect the same.

Many business families take advantage of this “familiness” and use it to benefit not only their family, but also their business. Telling the world that your company is a “Family Company” seems to be “in” lately, and of course I applaud this concept.

But what about the second part of Dr. King’s quote? What is he getting at with “perish together as fools”? My guess is that with respect to the American people and the variety of different races represented within, if this great country were to be torn apart because they could not learn to get along, very few others would pity them.

When you live in what many believe is one of the greatest countries in the world, if you fall off your perch, few will feel sorry for you. In fact, they will likely look at you with derision, and assume that you must have been fools to “blow it”.

And what about business families, and their cousins, families of wealth (for lack of a better term)?

Are there any well known families that you know of where you are, who have been around for at least a couple of generations? When do you hear or read about them? Sometimes, it is when they do something good, like giving to a philanthropic cause. These types of news stories have a very short news cycle.

But what about family feuds, lawsuits, siblings suing each other, family vs. family court cases? They are often fascinating, like a car accident that you just cannot look away from. And they can go on for months and years.

What do we think about when we think about the members of those families? Fools? Why couldn’t they just “live together as brothers”?

When you “perish together as fools” there will be plenty of finger-pointing, happy lawyers on both sides, and enough fractured relationships to last a few generations in your family.

Not many people will feel sorry for you, because you were lucky enough to get to that high perch first.

Please try to put a bit more effort into the “living together as brothers” part of the quote. It will be well worth it.

When things start to go badly between family members, they rarely get better on their own. It takes work, and usually a neutral outsider, to help get things going in the right direction, to help create the harmony you need, to support the legacy you want.

Or you can choose to perish together as fools. It’s your choice.

 

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Gray Is My Favourite Colour

I had lunch with a friend a couple of weeks ago, and it turned out that we had a mutual acquaintance. “Bryan” told me that he and “Larry” had recently had a long discussion about things that are actually truly “black and white”. I wish I had been there, because to me, “everything is gray” as I told him.

There is a folder in my email account in which I keep blog ideas, and I have had the idea for this blog about “grayness” in there for the longest time, so I figured it was now time to give it a go.

The title of today’s installment is a line from the 1998 Counting Crows song, “Mr. Jones”, which has long been one of my favourites. The song mentions “all of the beautiful colours are very very meaningful” and the singer continues, “Gray is my favourite colour”.

I have always loved gray, and not just because you can spell it gray or grey, it goes with everything too!

But let’s get back to gray versus black and white. I believe that between black and white there are over 49 different shades of gray. I have not read the famous book, nor have I spotted it on my wife’s nightstand.

But seriously, very few things are 100% in life, either black or white. As part of my former life when I personally managed the portfolios of our family office, I had printed out a copy of some newsletter writer’s “Twenty Rules for Traders”.

The list, which included one rule that said something like “You must always follow the rules”, later concluded that you needed “To know when you should ignore the rules and break them.” OK then.

Many people really like things to be black or white, because it actualy makes things a lot simpler when  making decisions is clear and rules-based. But there are inevitably exceptions that come up, and that is when you need to exercise judgement. As you may have noticed, not everyone has sound judgement, which can be problematic.

In the family business realm, some advisors learn to rely on certain practices that have worked well with a few clients and then assume that these should be applied as hard and fast rules for all their clients. Yikes, I always worry when advisors are so sure of the solutions before they understand the client.

I don’t have too many non-negotiables, because there are almost always some exceptions that will come up in some situation with some client.

If I did have one such “rule” it would be that before hiring their children to work full time in the family business, parents should insist that the children work for someone else for a few years.

But even though I highly recommend this practice, I am positive that it is not always necessary, and I could point to many cases where it was not done and there were no detrimental effects.

I still remember when I was just about to graduate from McGill and my Dad told me that he had heard from some people at a CAFÉ meeting (Canadian Association for Family Enterprise) about this idea of getting the kids to “go find a real job first”, I was quite excited by it, until he completed his sentence and said “But we’re not gonna do that”.

If you pushed me to find something that is not gray, I guess I would have go to the subject of integrity, because that is where there is no room for any gray.

And I just googled the word “integrity” to find an awesome ending to this post, and look what I found, an entry with two definitions of the word:

  1. The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.
  2. The state of being whole and undivided.

I can buy that. But gray is still my favourite colour!

 

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Thinking Outside the Family Business Box

Every business needs to be wary of getting into a rut, but inevitably when things are going well, getting complacent can become a habit that is hard to avoid.

A problem that seems to affect many family businesses is “groupthink”, where everyone adopts a certain point of view, and they tend to see everything the same way. Sometimes you can miss things that are happening almost right in front of you, just because everyone is hearing and seeing the same things all the time.

Today’s blog will outline a few ways that you may want to consider that can help you think “Outside the Box”, and bring in a fresh, much-needed perspective.

I remember when I was still in University, my Dad told me that he had heard that many family business experts recommended that children should not be hired by their family’s business right out of school, but only after getting at least 3 to 5 years of work experience elsewhere first.

Unfortunately for me, he also decided that this wise counsel did not apply in our case, and I have lived to regret that still to this day. There are few if any exceptions to this advice from my point of view, and it is not just about the outside perspective that such experience will bring.

Another way for a family to get a different viewpoint is by hiring consultants with specific skills for a certain project. Companies already hire outside accountants and lawyers to handle certain tasks for them, but there are also any number of other tasks that can be given to outsiders who have a special skill set that you do not have in house.

Whether it is an architect for a building expansion or a search firm to find a new key employee, there are lots of opportunities to get input from people who look at the world in a different way.

The Canadian Association of Family Enterprise (CAFÉ) has a program for their members called the Personal Advisory Group (PAG) that creates an atmosphere of sharing between family business owners in different industries so they can share stories and learn from each other.

My Dad was a member of a PAG that outlasted most of the businesses that its members owned, and a few of the members even invited me to join them for lunch after he passed away. I know that he got a lot of great advice from these people who also became good friends. I am sure that he also gave them his opinion on the issues that they faced as well.

Of course a more formal “Board of Advisors” is also a way to get an outside opinion on things in the family business. If you really want this to work well though, a lot of work needs to go into who gets invited to be on this board and what you want them to do.

Simply getting your accountant and lawyer together with one of your golf buddies is really not the way I would recommend doing this, although it may be better than doing nothing.

The last way to get an outsider’s viewpoint that I want to mention is not so much about the business, but more about the family. There are always business issues that affect the family, and family issues that affect the business.

Most people focus on the business issues, where outside help is plentiful and well known, and they hope that the family issues will simply take care of themselves. Unfortunately, they rarely do work themselves out, and more often than not, they get worse with time.

Believe it or not, there are people out there who specialize in the family area, who understand business families, and who can facilitate discussions, offer mediation when necessary, and coaching and educating of the “rising generation”.

And in Canada, IFEA has awarded the FEA (Family Enterprise Advisor) designation to 115 of us so far, and counting!

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The Rules of Baseball and Family Business

My family and I just returned from my favourite US city, Chicago, where we had a whirlwind 72 hours that will henceforth be referred to as “Dad’s 50th Birthday trip”, even though my birthday came and went a few days prior to our departure.

We hit all the stops from Navy Pier to Lincoln Park Zoo, from the Architectural Tour on the Chicago River to the John Hancock Tower Observatory, and even hit Soldier Field for a Bears pre-season game on Friday night. And of course we sampled some deep dish Chicago pizza.

But the part that I will not soon forget was the Cubs game at Wrigley Field, which we took in from the Skybox on Sheffield, one of the many places that have sprung up in recent years located across the street from the venue where the Cubs play their home games.

I had always said “some day I want to catch a game from one of those places”, so this trip became “some day”. The game was not memorable for what happened on the field, though, with the Tampa Rays winning 4-0. It was memorable because of the conversations I had with my 13-year-old daughter.

I attend many sporting events, mostly with my son, and only occasionally with her. She had not seen live baseball, and asked me to explain it to her. “Cool”, I thought, “this should be fun”.

The first thing that struck me was that the terminology can be quite confusing to those unfamiliar with the nuances. To her words like “throw” and “pitch” were interchangeable, and anyone who caught a ball was a “catcher”, as opposed to a fielder.

Just like family business, I thought, where succession planning and leadership can become confusing to different people in different positions and with different levels of “inside knowledge”.

As I explained the stuff about 4 balls for a walk, three strikes and you’re out, etc, it also dawned on me that everyone has a limited capacity to absorb new information in one sitting. After a few innings, the explanations became less frequent.

The next time we see a ball game on TV, I know that I will be able to explain a bit more to her, as what I helped her learn on Saturday has sunk in and formed a baseline (no pun intended), and we have something to build on, incrementally.

One step at a time is usually my favourite way to go about things, and when you are getting your family more involved in your business dealings, or getting them up to speed on how you are running your business and how and where the family fits into the picture, it is usually a good idea to go slowly and add more information with time.

The most important parallel that I felt was that spending time with the ones you love, helping them to learn and understand something that you know about and care about, is just about the most rewarding thing you can spend time on.

As a teenager, I played baseball, coached baseball, and umpired baseball. The Expos moving to Washington 10 years ago broke my heart, as I was a fan and had hoped to bring my kids to games. My son understands the game, and I have brought him to games at Fenway Park, Camden Yards, Philly, and DC, but I know that if we still had an MLB team here I would not have waited this long to explain the game to my daughter.

If you have a family business, don’t wait to explain things to the ones you love, start as soon as they show an interest. Go slowly, but then let them decide if and when they want to get involved further, and please don’t push them.

I know that my daughter learned quite a bit about baseball, but I am pretty sure she enjoyed the Katy Perry concert at the United Center on Thursday more than the Cubs game. And I was happy to be there with her too.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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