5 Things you Need to Know about Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry has been around forever.

Today, we’re gonna look at it from a family business perspective. 

Here are:

5 Things you Need to Know about Sibling Rivalry

1. It’s “Built In”

Where there are siblings, there’s potential for rivalry.

As soon as the second child is born, the rivalry is on.

The best we can do is be aware of it, and understand what’s going on, so that we can deal with it

Pretending it doesn’t exist in “OUR family”  just isn’t very helpful.

 

1. It brings out the WORST in people

Sports rivalries provide lots of examples where opponents did things that were memorable for the wrong reasons.

There’s just an added layer of intensity when rivals meet.

For siblings who’ve been in competition with each other for many years,

there can be positive interactions for years,

but you never know when something will finally blow up, and it seems to have come out of nowhere

1. It brings out the BEST in people

What’s actually at stake can range from sports trophies to love, power, and money.

In lots of cases, competition is good, and when it’s healthy, it can bring out our best.

So what makes competition, “healthy”?

It’s all about Win-Win situations,

ways to make the pie bigger,

and everyone contributing to the common good.

1. Blame the parents!

Who created the context the family lives in, if not the parents?

When parents create conditions for rivalries that bring out the worst in their children,

they need to accept their share of the blame.

It’s usually not done consciously, but lots of unhealthy rivalries can be traced directly back to the parents.

 

1. DON’T blame the parents!

Wait, didn’t I just say the opposite?

Well, yeah, but just because the root of the rivalry goes back to the parents, that doesn’t mean that ALL of it rests with them.

The kids have to assume responsibility for themselves at some point,

They can’t keep blaming Mommy and Daddy for “loving Johnny more than me”.

You are where you are today

as the result of everything that’s happened to you in your life, so far,

including the way your parents, and siblings, interacted with you.

But where you go from here depends on what you do, starting today.

Sibling rivalries are all around us and aren’t necessarily bad, or good.

If you’re involved in one, as a sibling or a parent, what can you do, to help make it “less bad”, or “more good”?

I hope you’ll think about that, and I’ll see you next time…