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“Me” versus “We” in the Family Business

Our family was watching Shark Tank together last night, and one of the companies making their pitch did something that I see far too often.

There were two women standing before the sharks, and in response to a question, one of them continually responded with “I have done this…”, “I can do that…”, while her partner stood there looking like a nobody.

Now it is highly probable that the woman using the first person singular pronoun “I” is in fact the only person who owns their company, or is at least the one at the top of their company food chain.

But if that is the case, what was the point of bringing along the other person? I see something similar, far too often, when shopping at local retailers. When I ask someone if they have a particular item, the reply sometimes comes “I have some in the back”, or “I’m getting some in next week.”

Well if the person saying this is the owner of the store, I certainly understand that, but when it comes from a teenager at a big box store, I think it is safe to say that they do not own the place, and therefore the item I am asking about is not “theirs” in any way.

In a family business context, this can be pretty tricky too. If Mom or Dad started the business without the kids, they can certainly be forgiven if they continue to say I rather than we. But what do they gain by that?

Maybe it is a cultural thing, but to me it smacks of some kind of ego gratification and making oneself seem important. But again, what is gained?

I daresay that in most contexts, a customer would feel more reassured knowing that they are dealing with a company comprised of several people who all care about serving them as a customer, rather than by just one, especially if the one is not “the boss”.

Back to the family scenario, so Dad keps saying “I” even when the children have taken on significant roles, no big deal, right? Well think about it from the perspective of those kids, how do they feel? Early on it is not much of an issue, but what about after 5 years, or 15, or 25?

To illustrate let me share a story about a related question, what the kids call their parents. As a child, I called my father “Daddy”. That is fine when you are 8, but at 28, or 38, it sounds pretty childish. I was ashamed to use the term, so I always found a way to avoid calling him anything. After all those years switching to “Dad” did not feel right.

With my own kids, I let them call me “Daddy” for the first couple of years, but then insisted they call me “Dad”, and they have been doing it ever since. (Okay, I’ll admit they sometimes call me Stevo, but never Daddy)

Old habits are hard to break, but they can be broken. What is needed first is the recognition that a change is needed, and then an insistance that the change be made. Then, with repetition, and more repetition, the change can become permanent.

The other thing to point out is the sooner you start, the easier it is.

The specific words that we use are often more important than we think they are, and when you switch to using “we” instead of “I”, it is rarely just a change in vocabulary.

The shift in attitude that comes along with the change in vocabulary is even more important. And don’t forget, it can come before OR after.

That’s right, you can change your attitude and decide to change the words you use, OR, you can change the words you use, and your attitude will eventually change too. Try it.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Communication is a Two-Way Street

Communication is a topic that comes up often when discussing what family businesses need to work on. With ubiquitous communication technology today, you would think that a subject like communication would have ceased to be an issue, after all, everyone is always reachable, right? If only it were so easy.

In a business family, one problem that is difficult to address is communication that only goes in one direction, from the top, down. After all, if the parents raised their children by simply telling them what to do, why would anything be different when they are at work together?

One of the issues with that style is that when messages only travel in one direction, they sometimes begin to fall on deaf ears. The biggest problem with communication, as they say, is the illusion that it has taken place. That is difficult enough to deal with in the best of situations, but when it happens because the speaker is being tuned out, it is a symptom of much bigger problems.

I know that in my situation with my father, things evolved over time with respect to communication flow. I truly believe that he, like many parents, wanted to listen to what his kids had to say, but just took a long time to realize that what we had to say was not only valid and pertinent, but that it was in the interest of the whole family to work together in a more collaborative fashion.

I do not like being told what to do, and I think most people feel the same way. Management styles have thankfully evolved a great deal, and the autocratic way of yelling at people just seems like such a throwback these days.

But while you can suggest to people that is is more important to listen to others than to speak, that doesn’t mean they are all going to suddenly start doing so. Learning to truly listen takes a lot of practice, but it can be learned. Some people just seem to take longer to understand that they should listen to others.

A family business is a tricky environment due to the intersection of the family and the business, and unfortunately some old-fashioned parenting styles and management styles still linger. Most parents in the older generation eventually see the light, but others never do, to the point of devising ways to continue to control things, even from the grave.

These situations can be very frustrating for the next generation successors to deal with. It can be helpful in these situations for the siblings to get together and begin to work on their own communication, in the belief that they will most likely outlive their parents and therefore will eventually need to get along without the senior generation’s help or interference.

Sometimes brothers and sisters begin to meet, get along better and develop a consensus for how things will eventually be handled after their parents have passed away. Sometimes the parents become intrigued when they hear of these meetings, and ask to be invited to join.

I could not end this blog without mentioning Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which I read many years ago. My favourite habit, and one that some have called his greatest quote:

Habit 5: “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.”

If you can make that a habit, you have no choice but to listen more intently. If others are having difficulty doing so, the more they see you model this behaviour, the more likely they will eventually catch on as well.

It is certainly worth the effort. Then, if you can not only listen, but also learn to listen without judgment, you will see that you are really on to something, but that is a subject for another blog.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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NextGen Successors: Time to Step Up

One of the topics that comes up over and over again in the family business arena is that of the next generation and their preparedness to take over the reins.

Who has not heard at least one tale of a leader who is reluctant to let go, while claiming that the supposed successor is not yet seasoned enough to do the job. Many people will rightly point out that part of the leader’s job should have been to ensure that a successor would be ready, but they would be missing a big part of the picture.

The next generation (NextGen) also has an important duty here, and it sometimes gets forgotten. While the current leading generation should be helping prepare their successors, the following generation MUST not only follow along, but they actually need to take the lead.

I wrote a blog a couple of months ago (http://www.fbo7624.com/blog/pre-mediated-planning-makes-sense-me) about some of the great work of Dean Fowler. In that post, I concentrated on the phrase that he used, “Pre-Mediated Planning”, because it really resonnated with me, since it was a new term, but I also found it catchy, memorable, and frankly “blog-worthy”.

A few weeks ago I was invited to lead a workshop on the Family Circle at an upcoming Families in Business event at the University of Vermont (http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e933f02d3632cace&llr=rejdpeeab). While discussing the title and subject of my breakout session with Dann van der Vliet, the organiser, he mentioned that blog post as a possible idea.

I agreed, and decided that I should contact Dean Fowler to clear it with him, lest I be somehow misappropriating his work. When Dr. Fowler replied, he indicated that he was fine with my discussing the pre-mediated planning aspect part, but his main concern was that I was missing his main point. Ergo this blog post, to make sure that I give that point its due.

Fowler stresses that the families he has worked with that have had the most successful transitions, are the ones where the NextGen successors actively took on leadership roles. But we are not just talking about a leadership role in the company, but a leading role in the transition.

Another way to say this is that the successors did not sit back and wait to be given the company, they actually proved that they were ready and left no doubt that they were ready to take over the company.

Is this another one of those ideas that is easier said than done? I believe it is, but then again, most things that are worth doing are not easy. It is simple to explain, but not necessarily easy to accomplish. So how can we put the odds in our favour?

As is so often the case, the word “communication” comes immediately to mind, but unfortunately, imploring families to communicate better is rarely sufficient. They usually need more specific advice on who needs to communicate what, to whom, and how often. So here we go.

The two generations need to make it clear to each other that all the people involved have a realistic understanding of what needs to happen over the coming number of years. In fact, a great place to begin would be to define a timeline, so that both groups can work with a similar schedule.

The leading generation must be realistic and understand that they will not be around forever, and that it is in the entire family’s interest to make the business transition successful.

The NextGen need to take the proverbial bull by the horns, though, even if their elders are reluctant to see it the same way. They need to proactively go about the business of preparing themselves to take over, regardless of any attitudes of immortality that there parents generation might exhibit.

Yes, easier said than done, but the sooner it starts, the better for all.

 

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Bien faire, ça prend du temps

Je deviens parfois frustré par le temps nécessaire pour accomplir certaines tâches, et je crois que la plupart des gens ressentent souvent le même sentiment. Il me semble que nous sous-estimons presque toujours le nombre de semaines ou de mois qu’un projet prendra, et la fréquence avec laquelle nous terminons les choses à temps (ou même en avance!) est effectivement très basse.

Des exemples? Commençons avec la création d’un site web. J’ai déjà deux sites web, mais je ne les aime pas beaucoup, puisqu’ils ont été conçus il y a un certain temps, et ils ne répondent plus à mes besoins. Il y a plusieurs mois, j’avais donné un contrat à une compagnie pour développer mon nouveau site, mais je l’attends toujours.

Mais je ne peux pas blâmer la compagnie, parce que depuis l’octroi du contrat, j’ai changé les spécifications, ce qui a fallu des semaines de retard pendant que je redéfinissais ce que je voulais. Je sais que le résultat sera beaucoup meilleur, mais le fait de vivre avec les retards est assez frustrant quand même.

La leçon ici, c’est que pour avoir quelque chose qui a de l’allure, il faut être patient, parce que la bonne qualité, ça prend du temps.

Pour mon deuxième exemple, je veux discuter de conditionnement physique. Aujourd’hui, je viens de compléter une course de 5 KM pour la première fois. Je me suis inscrit pour la course vers la fin du mois de février, et je croyais à l’époque qu’avec deux mois de préparations, je serais en mesure de courir la majorité de la course, parce que je ne voulais pas simplement marcher le 5 KM.

En réalité, avec le niveau de conditionnement que j’avais au début, il y aurait fallu quelques mois additionnels. De plus, pendant les 3 dernières semaines, je ne me suis même pas entrainé une fois à cause d’une blessure à mon genou. La blessure était le résultat du programme d’entrainement trop progressif que je m’étais fait, parce que je n’avais pas prévu assez de temps de préparation. Plus de temps aurait été bénéfique.

Je pourrais aussi parler de mon livre qui devrait sortir dans les prochains mois. Je croyais avoir complété l’écriture du texte avec assez de temps pour que la production se termine avant ma date limite, (je me suis imposé un “deadline” de mon 50ième anniversaire, au mois d’août) mais les réponses que je commence à recevoir de la compagnie qui fera la publication me laissent avec des doutes.

Mais mon but dans ce blogue est de parler d’entreprises familiales, n’est-ce pas? Bon, alors, quand vient le temps de planifier et d’executer des transitions dans les familles en affaires, est-ce que vous pensez qu’elles se laissent trop de temps, juste assez de temps, ou pas assez de temps?

Dans les exemples que j’ai cités, je parlais de semaines et de mois. Mais quand on essaye de préparer une nouvelle génération pour son avenir dans la gestion d’une entreprise, c’est plutôt en années ou même en décennies qu’on devrait penser.

Et en plus du transfert de la gestion de l’entreprise, il y a aussi le transfert des actions de la compagnie. Avec tout cela, il faut penser en termes de gestion de la famille, pas simplement de la business.

Du point de vue de la complexité, on ne parle pas nécessairement de projet comme la construction du CHUM ou du nouveau Pont Champlain, mais si on doit se faire un échéancier, le nombre d’années devient comparable.

Quand il s’agit de décisions importantes, et de changements qui affectent beaucoup de gens, et surtout des gens que nous aimons, il est quasiment impossible de prendre trop de temps pour être sûr de notre coup.

Malheureusement, les familles attendent souvent trop longtemps pour commencer ces transferts importants. J’essaye de vous convaincre autrement, et j’espère que vous saisissez le message.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Flex Your Flexibility

As we age, it is widely accepted that we lose a lot of our flexibility, especially when we look at our physical selves. Stretching is far more important for older folks than it is for kids, and there are good reasons why yoga and pilates are so popular with the grey-haired crowd.

But the kind of flexibility that I want to talk about today has little to do with our physical being, and everything to do with an attitude towards things that happen on a regular basis in our lives. I have not seen a lot written on this subject, so I wanted to throw some of my ideas out there.

Let me start with where this flexibility kick began for me, last year, as I was forming the idea behind my first book, on which I continue to work (update: manuscript just back from its first edit, working on a few modifications). The title of the book is SHIFT your Family Business, and the letters in “shift” are capitalized because they each stand for one of the five steps in my “call to action”.

If you are playing along at home, you have likely already guessed that the F stands for Flexibility.

The goal of the book is to get business families to begin to concentrate more on the family side of things, and slightly less on the business side. After getting Started, finding Help, and Investing time, we come to the chapter about staying Flexible, and in many ways this is the key to success. But some people find it difficult.

Many heads of family businesses attribute a lot of their success to their vision and hard work to achieve that vision, and flexibility is sometimes anathema to them.

But when it comes time to start to plan how you want to set things up for the future of the company and the family, these people will almost surely need to adopt some flexibility to assure a continuity plan that everyone can and will buy into.

The person who has always had it in their head that a certain child will certainly be ready, willing, and able to take over from him, may just end up discovering that that child is not interested, is not competent, is not liked by key non-family employees, or is not able to get their siblings to agree with them.

The family that believes they have it all figured out needs to be ready to adapt when someone unexpectedly get sick or has an accident, and it becomes clear that it is shifting gears and rolling with the punches are important for survival.

I believe that many family business leaders are actually more flexible than they realize in the way that they operate their businesses. What I think many of them could use help with, is to be more flexible in how they look after the family side of things.

The key skill that they usually need to brush up on is communication, which is actually a two-way street. Often when you are at the top, you become accustomed to doing a lot of talking and very little listening, and it is in the listening that you learn.

When you are able to listen, while holding off the need to judge, you can really learn a lot, and some of what you learn may not fit with your preconceived views. This is where the flexibility comes in.

When guiding a family business, and a business family, it is often tempting to try to just lead and expect everyone to follow. But if you adopt a more flexible attitude and truly listen to your key people, you will have more success when it comes time to hand the reins over to the next generation. Things rarely work out exactly as you expect them to.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Oh Brother! Siblings in the Family Business

Many of the family issues that business families face come from the relationships between different generations. After a certain number of years, the eventual changes that will be required to move the business from one generation of leadership to the next, just become inevitable.

But in some families, where siblings work together, the intra-generational issues come to the forefront, and become the focal point for long periods of time. When you think about it, two family members from different generations might work together for two or three decades, but two siblings may be working together for four or five.

I thought about this subject this week, when I had lunch with two brothers, who have been working together for as long as I have known them, and that’s about 25 years. I will call them Jack and Ron, and they run a family business unlike any other that I know.

I am not talking about the industry that they are in, but the way their business seems like a true family business, in the way the two brothers have made the company their life’s work, and the way they complement each other in terms of skill sets.

The other thing that sets them apart is the fact that neither of them has any children, so there is no succeeding generation. They started this business without any direct help from their parents, have run it togther for some forty years, but there are no obvious heirs to whom they can pass their assets.

I don’t know any other single-generation sibling partnerships, but these two brothers work really well together, have amassed a number of assets by watching every dollar they spend, and finding great value in a variety of places.

They have numerous real estate holdings all over the city, and they can tell you stories about deadbeat tenants for hours on end.

Jack is five years older than Ron, but I had to ask them who was the older brother. Ron is more of a tinkerer, fixing machines and seemingly making something out of nothing, while Jack is the legal expert, and knows his way around the legal system better than most lawyers. I guess that when you have tenants who don’t pay their rent, you end up learning about the legal system pretty quickly.

But this blog is about family business, and I have known these guys for quite a while, and I felt compelled to write about them because even though they are not your run-of-the-mill multi-generational company, they do exhibit something that I find truly inspiring when I watch them work together.

Their parents were always very important to them, even though they were not involved in the business. And their parents clearly did a great job in instilling the right attitude in their sons.

There does not seem to be any jealousy between Jack and Ron, any ill will or desire to seem superior in any way. They work together the way any parent would be proud to see their children work together. Maybe if they had children following in their footsteps it would be different.

They have their own challenges due to their situation, though. With no heirs, it will probably be a charitable foundation that ends up owning most of the assets down the road, but that needs to be set up, and many decisions and steps need to be taken to make sure that happens, and will be handled the way they want.

I have no doubt that they will make all their decisions together, without much fuss, since they have been getting along so well together for as long as I have known them.

Getting along with your family, and those that you work with, is pretty much one of the keys to happiness, isn’t it? Too many business families seem to forget this.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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ADR: Alternative to What?

Working with business families, there are always areas that are ripe for potential conflicts. I know that I have certain traits that lend themselves well to diplomacy, but I had never attended even a single course that was aimed specifically at dispute resolution.

For over a year, I have wanted to fill this void, and during the past couple of weeks, I have immersed myself into the area quite deeply, taking 2 courses, or workshops, each lasting 4 days.

The courses that I took were given by the Stitt-Feld-Handy-Group, out of Toronto. Due to the scheduling and the timing, I enrolled in their workshops in Ottawa, where I took both their ADR Workshop and their Advanced ADR Workshop.

Before leaving for the course, I decided to tell my kids that I would be attending a course on Alternative Dispute Resolution, hoping that they would ask the question, “Alternative to what?” because when I first heard that term years ago, that was my first question. Unfortunately, they did not seem to care enough to ask, and did not even seem thrilled when I answered the question for them.

Of course the expression evolved from the desire to find a way to avoid going to court, so ADR came about as an altenative to the long and costly way of solving disputes through traditional legal channels.

In the realm of family business, the disputes that do make it to the courts are relatively rare, but they do make for great stories, albeit almost always very sad ones, that most families would want to avoid. My grandfather apparently used to say that the worst negotiated solution is better than the best court judgment.

When I say “apparently”, that is because I never really heard these words from him, but I cannot tell you how often my father passed this wisdom on to me. I, in turn, try to pass as much wisdom down to my kids, and I like to think some of it is getting through, even if they often seem disinterested.

One thing that I have learned so far is that ADR is often just an acronym that means mediation in one form or another. The first course started with lots of negotiation exercises, because, as was pointed out to us, a mediation most often is nothing more than a facilitated negotiation.

I thought that was pretty cool, because I love negotiation, and I like to believe that I have some facilitation skills. In fact, towards the end of the second workshop, the exercises became much more than one-on-one plus a mediator, but instead involved co-mediators and multi-party scenarios.

In most family scenarios, coming in as an outsider, the skills that an advisor needs to rely on are facilitation, coaching, and mediation. Facilitation is mostly about running meetings, improving communication, and concentrating on relationships. Coaching is more of a “one-on-one” process, helping people find new perspectives and ways to contribute to the whole. Mediation is not always required, especially where there is no presenting conflict issue, but the skills of mediation are certainly helpful in many large family situations.

What the workshops made me think about also, was that many families do not give enough thought to this related question: “What is the alternative to NOT resolving the dispute?” If there is a dispute, is it better to just let it fester, in the hopes it will go away, or should you at least try to resolve the issue?

Avoiding conflict is not always the best solution, even when it feels like the most obvious and the easiest.

But when looking at the timing component, it is usually better to take a shot at resolving issues when you are not under the gun, because when time becomes one of the constraints, your range of options usually closes down very quickly. In those cases, ADR can be your best choice.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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L’harmonie et l’héritage vont de paire

Je crois que la plupart des gens qui mènent des entreprises familiales veulent laisser un héritage à leurs enfants et petits-enfants. Mais je crois aussi que la plupart de ceux-ci ne comprennent pas assez bien l’importance que l’harmonie familiale jouera dans le succès du transfert de cet héritage.

Quand je regarde le mot “héritage” dans mon Petit Larousse, je trouve, juste en dessous d’un petit dessin d’un hérisson: “1. Ensemble des biens acquis ou transmis par voie de succession. 2. Ce que l’on tient de ses parents, des générations précédentes.”

Je suis présentement en train d’écrire mon premier livre sur le sujet des familles en affaires, et j’arrive vers la fin. En même temps, je travaille aussi sur mon nouveau site web, pour clarifier mon offre comme conseiller pour ces familles. Avec toutes les pensées qui me passent par la tête sur ces sujet dernièrement, cette semaine j’ai vécu ce qu’on appelle en anglais un “A-Ha Moment”, où, tout d’un coup, je venais de réaliser quelque chose pour la première fois.

Dans mon livre, je passe beaucoup de temps sur l’importance de la communication dans une famille, sur les conversations qui sont parfois difficiles, mais qui sont absolument nécessaires pour que chaque personne dans la famille se sent incluse dans ce qui se passe.

Dans le dévelopement de mon site web, ma conseillière m’a forcé à travailler sur mes valeurs personnelles, afin que je démontre bien qui je suis, et ce que je trouve le plus important pour que mes clients potentiels comprennent ma personalité, et peuvent comprendre comment je travaillerai avec eux.

Sur la question de ce que les familles cherchent, le mot “héritage” revenait souvent. Je suis convaincu que la grande majorité des gens dans la génération senior dans une famille en affaires veulent laisser un bel héritage à leurs successeurs.

Sur la question de ce que j’offre à ces familles, et des besoins et lacunes parmi ces familles, je revenait souvent sur le mot “harmonie”. Je suis également convaincu que dans une grande partie de ces familles, le niveau d’harmonie parmi les gens n’est pas assez élevé pour supporter l’héritage à long terme.

Voilà, mon “A-Ha”. Pour avoir un héritage qui durera, il est absolument nécessaire que l’harmonie familiale soit assez forte pour supporter l‘héritage.

J’adore les analogies, et j’essaye de trouver quelque chose qu’on peut visualiser pour mieux expliquer mon point. Jusqu’à date, la meilleure que j’ai trouvée est celle d’une tente de camping.

Quand on traverse un parc de camping, on voit beaucoup de tentes, mais ce qu’on voit est seulement le tissu des tentes. Ce qu’on voit, le tissu, l’extérieur, pour moi, c’est comme l’héritage.

Mais imaginez pour un moment comment le parc paraîtrait si quelqu’un enlevait les supports intérieurs qui font que les tentes se tiennent debout. Ou si on enlevait les ancrages qui sont très pratiques quand le vent se met à souffler.

Le système de support, les tiges de métal ou en fibre de verre que nous devons assembler et connecter, est essentiel au bon fonctionnement de la tente. Les ancrages sont aussi quelque chose qu’on ne devrait pas oublier.

Pour moi, tout ces éléments sont comme l’harmonie familiale.

Si on ne prend pas le temps, et si on ne fait pas l’effort de bien monter le système de support, la tente ne servira pas à grand chose.

Ceux qui se concentrent sur la grosseur de leur héritage, et qui négligent l’harmonie dans leur famille, risquent d’avoir des résultats décevants. Si vous ne faites pas les efforts requis sur le côté familial, les biens et l’argent que vous avez accummulés risquent de s’éparpiller assez rapidement après votre décès.

Votre héritage dépandrera sur le support que votre harmonie familiale pourra offrir comme appui.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Folksy Steve and the Gentleman Farmer

It really is interesting sometimes to notice how different people react differently to certain words. There are two words that I always like to have handy when I am asked about my feelings towards something or someone, because they have that ambiguous aspect to them, allowing them to sound like a compliment, even though I may not really have such a positive feeling about the subject.

These two words are “interesting” and “special”. On the surface, they sound positive, and are most frequently used in a positive manner. The next time someone offers you a glass of homemade wine and asks you what you think, I offer you the answer “interesting!” as a reply that allows you to sound like a fan even if you are not.

On that note, I also know many “special” people, but that doesn’t mean that I want to spend lots of time with all of them, just as I may pass on a second glass of your wine.

But the words that I am highlighting today are adjectives that have been ascribed to me and to my father. Let’s start with my Dad, who bought a farm as a pre-retirement project, before moving out there full time.

Over the years, he managed to use many of the skills and habits that he had honed as a businessman, and applied them to areas of his farm. After a few years of working his apple orchard, neighbours started seeking his advice and input on ways to run their operations, even though they had a couple of generations head start.

When he took up beef breeding, he became known as the go-to guy in his area for those who were looking at upgrading their herds. He really became quite accomplished in a field where he did not have much education, but he learned quickly.

So what got him the most upset? It was when people would refer to him as a “Gentleman Farmer”. Now “gentleman” is usually not perceived as an insult, but to him, it was as if people were insinuating that he was not as good as the other farmers, and on that score I will concede that he might have a point. “What would you think of someone who was a ‘gentleman lawyer’ or a ‘gentleman doctor?’” he would say. Good point, Dad.

This past weekend I was taking the last of my five coaching courses, and in a pre-class conversation with one of the instructors, he casually mentioned something about me that I took as a compliment, when he said “We all know folksy Steve, how about today you try…” What he suggested is not important here, but I liked the fact that he referred to me as “folksy”, as it made me think of “friendly, neighbourly, social, and unpretentious”.

When I mentioned “Folksy Steve” to my wife, however, you should have seen the look she gave me. “Folksy? That’s not very nice. Does he think you are some kind of farmer?”

To my wife, there was a clear negative connotation that came to her mind. When I decided to look it up, I found that there is such a definition as well, that is, “sometimes used derogatorily to describe affected simplicity”. OK, dear, there is a negative take on it, but I am pretty sure that was not what he meant.

That actually brings up the interesting link here, and kudos if you picked up on it. In the expression “Gentleman Farmer”, my Dad took offense to the word “gentleman”, but for my wife, the word she likes to use as an insult is “farmer”.

I love them both, but maybe that’s just because I’m folksy.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Why is “Why?” So Important?

It seems to me that the world of business is evolving into a kinder gentler way of doing things. Maybe I am wrong, or maybe I am just spending too much time following the right (or wrong?) people on social media, but it really feels like collaboration is becoming not just something that people talk about doing, but what people DO.

These days it has become so easy to find like-minded individuals via the internet, people who seem to “get it” the same way that we do, and with whom we feel we have an instant connection.

It is more than simply finding others who do the same kinds of things as we do, it goes right to the core of WHY they do the same things that we do. That is what branding has become all about, creating the kind of identity that has users not only flock to a brand, but also go out of their way to praise it and defend it.

Where does this come from? I believe that what it boils down to is often the “WHY” behind what they do. In his best-seller “Start with Why”, author Simon Sinek talks about “How great leaders inspire everyone to take action”. Think about it, if you understand the fundamental reasons driving someone to do what they do, and those are the kind of reasons that you identify with and that resonnate with you, aren’t your chances of doing business with them going to increase?

I have heard it put another way, “People don’t buy what you are selling, they buy WHY you are selling it”. There is another book out there titled “People don’t buy what you are selling, they buy what you stand for”, and that is essentially the same thing.

What you stand for, and why are you doing what you do, are basically two ways of saying the same thing. In coaches training, we learn to ask open-ended questions to get people to talk about how they feel, and asking questions that almost guarantee a “Yes” or a “No” answer are discouraged.

In the same way, they teach us not to ask “why” per se, but instead to almost always start with a “What” question. So rather than “why”, they suggest “what is it about that…” or even “what were you feeling”, instead of “why”. Maybe it is because the question “Why” almost sounds too accusatory and confrontational in many circumstances.

When my kids are arguing, sometimes when I try to intervene I will hear “But I was just asking a question”. I normally respond with “well, yes, but ‘why are you always such an idiot’ is also technically ‘just a question’”.

Way back when, in the old days (10+ years ago!), the question of why someone engaged in a particular activity or profession seemed so much less relevant. But with today’s social media, so many people and brands are trying to capitalize on what makes them special and easy to identify with, it almost seems crazy NOT to try to follow along, and show the world why they should identify with you.

Also, with more and more free agents out their building their own personal brands, trying to stand out to make a go of a career as an expert in a particular field, there never seems to be a shortage of people out there trying to get you to see why they are the ones that you should rely on, because you really seem to “get it”.

Some of them even write blogs.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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