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Three Peas in a Pod?

In a blog post a couple of months back I mentioned that LinkedIn was becoming a really good resource for me. It continues to be a treasure trove of information and contacts.

I recently discovered a LinkedIn group called “Business Succession Planning Group”, so I joined and it did not take long for it to pay off. A group member from Minneapolis, Daniel Kurth of Human Performance LLC, made a post to the group that caught my eye.

I will use the key point of his message as the starting point to my blog this week. He introduces us to the “Three P’s of Transitioning Owners”.

Without further ado, they are: Paycheck, Purpose, and Place. Kurth’s thesis is that the exiting owner will only readily move on from the business once he has been able to replace those three P’s that the business has been providing.

Anyone who has ever worked in a business where the owner does not seem to be ready and willing to even entertain the thought of retirement can probably identify with at least one of these P’s being a major factor in the hesitation.

If the business has been successful for a number of years, the paycheck should be easy enough to replace. There is an entire industry of financial advisors and insurance product reps that will gladly help the future retiree ensure that monthly income to spend is replaced in a satisfactory way.

Let’s skip ahead to the last P, Place. Keeping and office, setting up a new office somewhere else, or simply getting into a new routine of meeting friends and colleagues somewhere on a regular basis, are all ways that people have gone about making sure that they “get out of the house” after retiring.

I really think that the toughest P to replace after selling or passing down a business, or even retiring from any job really, is Purpose.

I remember some friends of my parents who had 9-5 jobs who said they were looking forward to retiring, but once there, it almost drove them crazy. Somehow sleeping in, reading the paper, going for a walk, etc. can only cut it for so long.

For type “A’s” like most business owners and entrepreneurs, I wouldn’t give it more than a week or two before they would start going stir crazy. Folks who disliked their jobs look forward to retiring from the “grind” and they have trouble, imagine those who have a company they built to inspire them every day when they wake up.

Their business is often the driving purpose of everything, and has been for a long time. It cannot simply be switched off overnight. It can’t be expected to work that way. In theory, sure; in practice, no.

So for all those who want to help encourage someone to think about retiring some day, sooner rather than later, I suggest that you help them replace that P, the sense of Purpose that the business gives them.

Whether you are the succeeding generation waiting to take over, or the spouse who would rather spend more time together or take longer vacations, this is the place to concentrate your efforts.

But do not expect things to happen quickly. Start early and try to help them find hobbies, causes, worthwhile organisations, boards of directors, anything that can get them excited and where they can put their skills, energy and desire to good use.

There are surely other purposes that can slowly but surely become more and more important in their lives, and eventually allow them to exit the business because they have found a new sense of purpose. If they don’t get there, they might stay around forever.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Blame it on Cinderella

This week I attended the CFA Institute’s Wealth Management conference in Boston. It’s an annual event that will be in L.A. next year, but since this time it was so close to Montreal, I figured it was worth the five-hour drive to hear the great speakers they had lined up.

The conference was really good in so many ways, and I was having trouble deciding which of the 12 presentations I would use as the inspiration for this week’s blog.

As I was driving home through the White Mountains of New Hampshire and the Green Mountains of Vermont, something happened that made me push the conference topics to the back burner.

It wasn’t something that I saw though. It was something that I heard, on the radio.  When I have a long drive I always worry about falling asleep at the wheel, although it is much less of a problem for me lately, since I started sleeping better every night thanks to my CPAP machine.

To make sure that I stay awake while driving, I have a strong preference for talk radio. My wife and kids can’t stand talk radio, but I was alone, so it was a great chance to catch up on what Rush Limbaugh and the like were talking about on the US airwaves.

But when you are driving through the mountains and trying to listen to the radio, staying on any one station for more than 15 minutes is often a challenge. So what ends up happening is that every few minutes, I just hit the search button until something comes in with a strong enough signal.

Now besides talk radio, the other thing that usually keeps me awake is country music. I can’t say that I am a huge fan, but I have very eclectic tastes in music, and with country music the lyrics are usually such that you can sing along to any song even though you have never heard it before.

It’s hard to fall asleep when you are singing. And given the choice between listening to talk radio or listening to me sing in the car, I can tell you that my family would likely learn to LOVE talk radio. But I was alone, so country music it would be, at least for a song or two.

That was when Stealing Cinderella came on. I thought I recognized the singer’s voice, but it turns out that he just sounded like most other country singers, and I couldn’t even tell you his name now without googling it. But the lyrics really got to me.

It’s about a guy going to his girlfriend’s father’s house to ask for permission to marry her. Do guys still do that? I don’t know, but a little over 20 years ago, I did it. So the song brought back instant memories, especially the reaction I got from my father-in-law, who wished me luck but (wrongly) assumed that his daughter was not the marrying type.

But then the song goes on to describe the family photos that are placed all over the living room, including many of the little girl as she was growing up, riding her first bike, jumping on the bed, and of course playing Cinderella.

Now it was the heartstrings of the father of the 11-year-old daughter that were being tugged on. Yikes, where the heck did the time go?
In 30 seconds I went from reliving the experience of asking for the go-ahead to marry one man’s “Cinderella”, to fast-forwarding who knows how many years to some guy coming by and trying to steal MY Cinderella.

I know, she’s only 11, but ten years ago she was 1 and it feels like it was yesterday. And in ten years she will be 21 and who knows what future awaits her.

Too much to think about. Better stay off the Country Music stations and stick to talk radio.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Questioning the Question Instead of Answering It

I have a habit of turning things around and looking at them from a different perspective from most people. So while many are pre-disposed to think in terms of finding the answer to a question, I prefer to step back and question the question before answering it.

This habit goes back to my days of working in the family business in my early twenties. When we needed to hire someone to fill a position, the task of finding good candidates somehow fell to me.

I suppose that it was because we did not yet have an HR person in those days, so the occasional need to fill a position became a project that went to “Steve Junior”.   So here I was being put in a position where I needed to first figure out a number of things before I could even begin.

The department head’s question would start with “Can you find someone to fill this job in my department?” While there was a brief answer (“Yes, of course”), what became more important was the series of questions that soon followed. What is the job description, what kind of experience are you looking for, what is the salary, etc.

I got into the habit of asking lots of questions, and I still do lots of it today. Like many things, the more you do something, the more comfortable you become doing it.

Sometimes when doing job interviews I would ask candidates “What is more important, knowing the all the answers or knowing the right questions?”  I can tell you that we never hired anyone who did not hit that one out of the park.

Many people spend a lot of their time trying to find answers, even though they may not have taken the time to make sure that they are answering the right questions.

Somehow when we begin looking for the answers we feel like we have started down the road to finding a solution, while thinking through the questions still feels like we are in neutral and not making progress.

Many businesses bring in consultants hoping to find “the answer” to their problem. I believe that anyone who promises you answers without first ascertaining that you are looking at the right questions is someone to be avoided.

I maintain that if you take the time to ask all the right questions, the answers often take care of themselves.

An outsider can often bring a different perspective to your situation, and the simple fact that they must ask a lot of questions can make you think in terms that you might not have thought of, and this can in turn help you with both the questions and the answers.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions, but try to avoid Yes/No questions. Learn to ask a lot of “why?” questions, as hearing people’s answers to those are usually the most enlightening.

It should go without saying that actually listening to the answers that you get is pretty important too.

Every once in a while, it is good to ask yourself a couple of big picture questions, because the answers you come up with on those will help you put a lot of things in the proper perspective.

I like to start with “Where are we trying to go?” followed by “How do we plan to get there?”

They are very simple and quite general, but I think if more people in more businesses took the time to stop and ask themselves these two simple questions, on a regular basis, they would be more likely to make progress and stay on track.

So, where are you trying to go? And how do you plan to get there?

 

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Transparently Trustworthy Transitions

Once again I begin with a mouthful of a headline. Three big words, and loaded words at that. Let’s look at each one individually.

Transitions are periods of time during which you go from one state to another. Transparency is doing things openly, where you do not hide anything from anyone. Trustworthy is an adjective we use to describe things that we trust, or have confidence in.

Now let’s combine the words into pairs.

If something is transparently trustworthy, it is because the people affected have confidence in what was done because they could see it happen openly.

If a transition is transparent people see it happening and can follow along with the process through its various stages.

And if you want your transition to be trustworthy, it is much better if it is done done transparently.

Let’s look at a few examples, all about men who started and ran family businesses, and the transitions that they faced as they got older. The transitions involved the businesses and the wealth they created, and the impact that those had on their families.

We will start with “Peter”.  Peter has two children, both of whom worked in his businesses at times. He has been winding down some of his companies over the past few years, but currently no other family members work for him. He seems to be transitioning himself into retirement mode, but has not spoken about his plans with his children.

His children are his heirs, but remain out of the loop as to what his plans are. They don’t really know what to expect, and they seem to get along much better with their mother. But since Peter has been divorced for many years and now lives with another woman, there is a lack of knowledge and trust in what Peter will do with his wealth.

Then there is Robert. He built a business in which all 4 of his children worked as teenagers. His oldest son worked there as the heir apparent, but about a dozen years ago Robert received a generous offer for the company and sold it.

Since cashing out, the children, now into their mid-fifties, have continued to live their lives as before, expecting an eventual inheritance. Now into his 80’s, Robert is experiencing quite a few signs of dementia.

The family seems to recognize that this is a transition in which they must become involved, but there does not seem to be much urgency, and they are unsure of how to go about it. I strongly suggest that they do everything as transparently as possible, so that everyone will have confidence in the results.

Then there is Stewart. He built a business and sold the operations when he was in his 50’s. His son worked in the business, and continued to take care of the real estate and other revenue-producing assets.

When he was diagnosed with cancer, he went home and wrote detailed instructions for his wife and three children to follow after he passed away. He called a famiy meeting to explain everything. After he passed away, the family began holding annual meetings during which they make major decisions by consensus.

You must first recognize that you are in a transition stage, and then figure out how you will move through it. When you share the information and the process with those who are affected by it things go more smoothly.

You do not have to ask for permission from your heirs to handle your assets the way you see fit, but you should understand that transparency in your actions will breed trustworthiness in the results.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Pas comme les autres

Si vous vous sentez beaucoup plus à l’aise dans les situations où vous faites parti de la majorité, vous êtes comme la plupart des gens.

Façon compliquée de dire que presque tout le monde préfère la sensation d’appartenance qui vient en agissant de manière “normale”. Plus souvent qu’autrement, ce confort est justifié, puisqu’en general, les gens ont tendence à bien faire ce qu’ils ont à faire.

Mais c’est loin de dire que c’est toujours meilleur de faire “comme tout le monde”. En fait, je crois que pour certaines personnes, le contraire est vrai.

Mes blogues sont souvent destinés aux gens qui comprennent la difference entre les occasions où c’est mieux de faire comme les autres, et les situations qui demandent de faire le “Zig” quand les autres font le “Zag”.

Si vous vous sentez visé, c’est peut-être parce que vous comprennez déjà très bien qu’il existe beaucoup de choix à faire dans la vie où il vaut mieux prendre le temps d’aller dans les sens contraire de la foule.

Et il me semble que le plus souvent qu’on prend les sens inverse, avec succès, le plus qu’on s’amuse à le faire. Gagner “en gang” c’est très amusant, mais gagner et être un des seuls gagnants parmi une foule de perdants, c’est encore plus satisfaisant.

Parfois quand je discute avec des gens qui ont eu du succès dans leur vie, tout en respectant cette tendence de faire ce qu’il était nécessaire à faire, même si ce n’était pas ce que la majorité aurait fait, je constate qu’ils ont quand même le réflexe d’agir dans le sens de la majorité dans d’autres domaines de leur vie.

Je m’explique. Un entrepreneur qui a eu du succès en bâtissant une entreprise dans un secteur qu’il connait, aura sûrement agi de façon non-conventionelle. Mais quand vient le temps de prendre des décisions dans sa vie personnelle, il suivra souvent ses amis.

Une personne qui a bâti une PME familiale, en allant dans le sens inverse de la plupart des gens qu’il connait, n’hésite pas à faire comme eux dans d’autres circonstances.

Si vous avez eu beaucoup de succès dans votre vie en agissant “pas comme les autres”, pourquoi est-ce si difficile d’agir ainsi dans d’autres aspects de la vie?

J’ai grandi dans une entreprise familiale où c’était mon père qui menait tout, et il n’était pas gêné de faire comme il voulait, sans égard pour ce que les autres faisaient ou ce qu’ils pensaient.  Il n’avait pas toujours raison, évidemment, et il n’aimait pas admettre quand il avait tort, mais ça ne l’empêchait pas de se ré-essayer la prochaine fois, à sa façon, la prochaine fois.

Récemment, j’ai accompagné ma mère à une rencontre lors de laquelle nous avons investi de l’argent dans un fonds où le gérant avait mentionné que la plupart des investisseurs dans son fonds étaient des institutions, et pas des particuliers.

J’ai mentionné que cela ne nous dérangeait pas, puisque ma mère avait vécu plus de 50 ans avec quelqu’un qui ne s’arrêtait jamais au fait qu’il était le seul de sa catégorie, et qu’étant donné que c’était lui mon “mentor” et celui qui m’avait entrainé, j’étais habitué d’être le seul aussi.

En m’habituant à être “pas comme les autres”, c’est devenu presque préfèrable de continuer de façon “pas comme les autres” dans bien des circonstances.

Avez-vous peur d’agir “pas comme les autres”? Est-ce que vous ne risquez pas de le regretter?

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Having Conversations (Not just communicating)

I often harp on the need to communicate well. That means doing it clearly and often, among other things. Communication takes many forms, especially with today’s technology. The many forms help with the frequency, but unfortunately they have not done much to help with clarity.

In business families and their family businesses, communication becomes especially important. When people relate to each other through the business AND through the family, the relationships tend to become more complex.

With this complexity can come a multitude of potential problems and misunderstandings that stem from human emotions.  An effort to communicate regularly and clearly can often help to minimize problems, but sometimes the emotions alone can inhibit the desire to make the necessary efforts.

I love to send emails, and I often spend a great deal of time composing them to ensure that I am sending all the information that I want, and getting my message across just the way I want it to be received.

I regularly send text messages on occasions where the information is particularly timely and brief. But in many cases there is no better way to communicate that to just talk to people.

In some ways, having conversations is becoming a lost art. Who has not witnessed people sitting at the same table in a restaurant, each one looking at their phone, without anyone saying a word.  Sometimes they even text the people sitting at the same table!

The subject of conversations came up often at a recent workshop that I attended on business strategy for family businesses. Our instructor repeatedly used the expression “have the conversation”. On the second day, when he said it for about the twelfth time, it hit me.

The first day of the course, each time I heard “have the conversation”, my brain translated it into “communicate”, because that was my term. To me he was preaching the same communication gospel that I often harp on.

But there was much more to it. Not only is having a conversation a subset of communication, it is also one of the most often overlooked.

And in addition to being a hugely important part of communication, “having the conversation” was also the term our instructor was using to hammer home another point, and it is the point that I want to hammer home here.

All too often there are important subjects that should be discussed, but they are put off, due to the combination of two major impediments. People are either:

Too busy taking care of more urgent matters, and/or,
Not comfortable talking about “those subjects”

HAVE THE CONVERSATION.  Sometimes you need to concentrate on the important things, not just those that seem urgent.

And get over the discomfort. The hardest step is usually the first. Start the conversation slowly if you have to, but be open to keeping it going. You have to be able to leave your comfort zone to make progress.

In a ten minute discussion with any family-business person , I could come up with five areas where conversations should be taking place but are not.

What are you waiting for? The time is never perfect. Don’t make me come over there! (Although I will if you ask).

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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“I didn’t have time”. (What it really means)

Just about everyone I know has too many things going on and not enough time to get everything done. I am not sure if it is worse now than it was in the past, but it sure seems that way.

If everyone were simply a self-contained organism, without any interactions with others, this would not really pose a problem. If you got 8 out of 10 things done on your to-do list today, and I only accomplished 4 of my 7 items, no big deal.

But few if any of us live lives without interactions with others, and the resulting inter-dependencies are at the root of many potential conflicts. When you do not get back to me about something (failing to complete just one of the things you were supposed to do), the result could be that I am unable to take care of a few of the items that I was hoping to get done.

In many ways, life is all about managing our priorities, and it seems that the less we need to rely on others, the simpler life becomes. Unfortunately it just is not possible for most of us to run our lives without having to depend on anyone.

So we try to find people who are dependable. Over time, if you weed out the less dependable ones and bring in some more of the dependable type, things should get simpler for you. But what happens when you have depended on someone for a long time and now they have let you down?

I am currently in a situation where I have worked with someone off and on over many years, and things have always gone well, until recently. You see, this man has had some recent changes in his life that have forced him to reorganize things and re-assess his priorities.
As for the area of his life that impacts mine, I had assumed that despite the changes he has faced, the work he did with me would continue to be a high enough priority for him, so that he would continue to do a great job insofar as I was concerned.

But I am now learning that I was probably wrong. Lately when I send him an email or leave him a voice message, I wait several days or even weeks before getting a response. I often end up following up an email with a call or a text before he gets back to me.

The excuse that invariably comes up in such instances is “I was going to get back to you, but I didn’t have time, because of such and such and I was busy dealing with so-and-so”.  Ugh. Yeah, it is probably true, in some respects. But what does it really mean?

Well it reminds me of a relationship book that became popular a few years ago called, “He’s just not that into you”. It was aimed and women who lament the fact that after what they felt was a great first date with a guy, he often did not follow up.

What it means in your work life when these things happen to you is similar. Yes, give someone the benefit of the doubt. Once. Maybe twice, assuming the relationship was good and has been in place for a long time. (And assuming the explanations are believable and acceptable).

But what it means to you in practice is that this person’s priorities have changed, and you had better realize quickly that you are no longer as close to the top of the list as you were before. So you would probably do well to start to plan your next move without having to rely on that person.

The sooner you start to realize that there is a new reality in place and that you need to make some changes, the sooner you can start to regain control of the situation.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Being a Good “Bad Guy”

I like to think of myself as a good guy. I think most guys do. But don’t nice guys finish last? That’s not true, is it?

A couple of weeks ago my partner Tom came into the office and lamented the fact that he was “too nice” and sometimes felt as if people were taking advantage of him because of it.

I told him that I often felt the same way. But I also said that I didn’t think he could or should ever change. And I am pretty sure that he won’t. It just isn’t in his DNA. Nor is it in mine.

But that doesn’t mean that we just simply let people walk all over us, because that is not the case either. Tom and I have a lot of traits in common, and of course we are different in many ways as well.

One of our common traits is empathy. We are both quite good at looking at things from other people’s perspectives, and then being able to understand how they feel about a situation. This is exactly what Tom was getting at when he talked about being too nice.

Getting back to the conversation we had that morning, I asked him if these feelings occurred more often in his personal life or his work life. I already knew that he would answer “personal” when I posed the question.

I have worked with Tom in many situations and seen him when he is acting for someone other than himself. When he is representing a company, a client, or another person, he is still polite and generally friendly. But when things get hairy, he can quickly lose the “good guy” persona.

I’m not sure why it is, but it is far easier for me to take on the “bad guy” role when I am representing someone else as well. Maybe we just don’t like it when we have to resort to tough tactics for our own good. Do we really want to be thought of as an A–hole? Not really.

The other day I was explaining this blog idea to my daughter, who is 11. I told her that when it comes to representing someone else, I find it easier to be the bad guy and ask the tough questions. Or to raise my voice when that is what is required.

She loves drama class and has taken improv and acting classes, so I told her that when I am in a position where I am representing someone else, I look at it kind of as a role, or, as I put it, a “schtick”.

She has heard me raise my voice more than once, and also remembers her grandfather and how it was better to remain on his good side. “Do you think I can play the role of the bad guy when I have to?” I asked. She nodded and gave me that “oh yeah” look.

We have all seen cop shows where they use the “good cop bad cop” routine to try to get a suspect to confess. What I have been talking about is different, but not completely.

Both my partner and I prefer to be the good cop, and the good cop can usually handle 90% of the situations anyone confronts. But in those situations that require it, sometimes you need to switch into the bad guy schtick.  From our experience, it is always easier to be the bad cop when you are doing it for someone else. Otherwise, you risk being the A—hole.

 

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Being Proactive versus Being Reactive

When I first heard the word “proactive”, about 20 years ago, I really did not like it. It sounded funny and awkward. It sounded made up. But I have learned to like it, mostly because it fits so well with my way of thinking.

The easiest way to help someone understand it is to contrast it with the word “reactive”. You react to something after it happens. When you are proactive, you plan and act before something happens.

Anyone can react. All of us do, every day. We start doing it from the day we are born.

But not everyone gets to the stage where they do things proactively. It’s almost as if there is some sort of maturity required of people to get to where they consistently look ahead at what is coming, and try to get things prepared in advance.

In some ways, I wonder if the ability to see the “big picture” is somehow correlated with how proactive people will be. When you see how the large pieces of the puzzle fit together, you are more likely to anticipate many of the steps in advance.

So why am I even talking about being proactive? Well, in large part it is because I don’t think enough people do it naturally, and there are some people for whom it is really really important.  Can you guess that I am talking about family business owners?

Founders of businesses, entrepreneurs, first generation family business people become successful thanks to certain traits that they have. Whether we are talking about drive and determination, knowledge of their industry, or the willingness to take risks, there are key traits that almost all of them share.

They often become consumed with running their business on a day-to-day basis, fighting fires, making their next payroll, getting the big order out the door. Long range planning? Who has time for that?

Succession planning? I don’t need that? I am never going to retire anyways. And entrepreneurs live forever, don’t they?

In second- or third-generation family businesses, planning, whether for succession or other major transitions, is usually much more structured and formalized. Could it be that the ability to make long-term plans has contributed to the fact that these businesses survived into a following generation?

Maybe being proactive does not come naturally to everyone.  Even those who acknowledge that it is important are often not able to get themselves to take a longer-term view. Some people are natural procrastinators, who only do those things that are marked URGENT, at the expense of things that are truly important. (Note to self: there is a whole other blog right there).

Let me conclude with an idea that I think can be helpful. We have all heard that people who start an exercise program with a partner are more likely to stick with it. We also know that there are some people who only succeed when they have to answer to someone else, such as a personal trainer, who keeps them on track and motivated.

I believe that being proactive, especially when we are looking at major transitions like business succession, is easiest when someone from the outside is brought in to help organize, lead, and steer the process.

Let those who run the business run the business. But in order to make sure that the long term is not an afterthought, someone needs to pull those people out of the trenches and force them to think through, discuss, and plan what needs to be done for the long term.

It’s called being proactive. I hope this blog elicits an appropriate reaction, and starts you thinking about this important subject.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Je blogue, tu blogues

Aujourd’hui j’ai décidé de faire quelque chose de nouveau avec mon blogue.  Après avoir écrit une trentaine de blogues en anglais,  je vous propose celui-ci en français.

Quand nous avons lancé notre entreprise il y a un peu plus d’un an, nous avions plusieurs décisions à prendre concernant nos communications marketing,  dont celle de la langue utilisée.

On ne se cachera pas le fait que Tom et moi sommes des “anglophones”, mais c’est un mot que je trouve assez négatif dans le contexte actuel au Québec.  Comme la plupart des professionnels qui oeuvrent au Québec, nous sommes tous deux assez bilingues.

Notre langue de communication entre nous est l’anglais, mais à tous les jours nous échangeons dans les deux langues, et je trouve cela normale.

Pour notre site web, étant donné que nous sommes plus à l’aise en anglais, nous l’avons conçu en anglais, et nous avons payé pour le faire traduire en français par des professionnels.  Si nous aurions décidé de le faire en français ou de le traduire nous-memes, le résultat aura été moins élégant.

Et quand est venu le temps de partir le blogue, je me suis lancer dedans en anglais pour commencer. Dès la journée que j’ai mis mon premier blogue sur le site web, je me suis demandé si la traduction de chaque blogue serait une bonne idée.

Les réflections à ce sujet n’étaient pas si simples que certains le croiraient. Voici quelques-uns:

Y-a-t-il un client potentiel pour nos services que déciderait de ne pas nous engager parce que j’écrit mes blogues uniquement en anglais?
Est-ce que je devrais prendre la peine de faire traduire chaque blogue en français?
Est-ce que je pourrais simplement passer le texte de chaque blogue dans un programme de traduction gratuit sur le web?
Est-ce que c’est “légale” au Québec de faire un blogue sur un site bilingue où la plupart des textes sont écrits en anglais seulement?

Nous avons opté pour la solution qui nous semblait la plus simple. Je continuerais d’écrire en anglais. Avec le temps, nous verrions si des changements seraient bénéfiques ou nécéssaires.

Nous voici déjà plusieurs mois plus tard, et la question me dérange encore. Je crois que j’y pense un peu trop, mais c’est dans ma nature de me soucier des ce genre de question.

Personnellement, je ne sais pas pourquoi il existe encore des commissions scolaires anglophone et francophones au Québec. Tous les enfants devraient apprendre les deux langues, et au Québec plus d’emphase devrait se mettre sur le français.

Je suis né en 1964, donc je commençais l’école durant le temps de a crise de la FLQ. Mes parents, immigrants allemands qui avaient appris l’anglais en arrivant à Montréal dans les années 1950, avaient décidé que leur fils devrait s’inscrire à l’école française (mes deux grandes soeurs ayants déjà commencé l’école dans le système anglais).

En septembre 1970 j’étais le seul enfant anglophone inscrit à l’École Ste-Odile à Cartierville. J’ai commencé la première année avec un vocabulaire de zéro mots.  C’était une des meilleures décisions qu’auraient pu prendre mes parents.

Tout cela pour dire que je suis capable d’écrire des blogues en français.

Et quand j’ai mentionné des blogues français à ma fille, qui est en 6ième année à l’école et qui reçoit de très bonnes notes sur son bulletin en français (comme dans toutes les matières, d’ailleurs), elle s’est tout de suite offerte pour faire une révision de mes textes avant que je les mette en ligne.

J’espère que je n’aurai pas trop de corrections à faire…

À la prochaine, probablement en anglais, mais éventuellement encore en français aussi.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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