Having Conversations (Not just communicating)

I often harp on the need to communicate well. That means doing it clearly and often, among other things. Communication takes many forms, especially with today’s technology. The many forms help with the frequency, but unfortunately they have not done much to help with clarity.

In business families and their family businesses, communication becomes especially important. When people relate to each other through the business AND through the family, the relationships tend to become more complex.

With this complexity can come a multitude of potential problems and misunderstandings that stem from human emotions.  An effort to communicate regularly and clearly can often help to minimize problems, but sometimes the emotions alone can inhibit the desire to make the necessary efforts.

I love to send emails, and I often spend a great deal of time composing them to ensure that I am sending all the information that I want, and getting my message across just the way I want it to be received.

I regularly send text messages on occasions where the information is particularly timely and brief. But in many cases there is no better way to communicate that to just talk to people.

In some ways, having conversations is becoming a lost art. Who has not witnessed people sitting at the same table in a restaurant, each one looking at their phone, without anyone saying a word.  Sometimes they even text the people sitting at the same table!

The subject of conversations came up often at a recent workshop that I attended on business strategy for family businesses. Our instructor repeatedly used the expression “have the conversation”. On the second day, when he said it for about the twelfth time, it hit me.

The first day of the course, each time I heard “have the conversation”, my brain translated it into “communicate”, because that was my term. To me he was preaching the same communication gospel that I often harp on.

But there was much more to it. Not only is having a conversation a subset of communication, it is also one of the most often overlooked.

And in addition to being a hugely important part of communication, “having the conversation” was also the term our instructor was using to hammer home another point, and it is the point that I want to hammer home here.

All too often there are important subjects that should be discussed, but they are put off, due to the combination of two major impediments. People are either:

Too busy taking care of more urgent matters, and/or,
Not comfortable talking about “those subjects”

HAVE THE CONVERSATION.  Sometimes you need to concentrate on the important things, not just those that seem urgent.

And get over the discomfort. The hardest step is usually the first. Start the conversation slowly if you have to, but be open to keeping it going. You have to be able to leave your comfort zone to make progress.

In a ten minute discussion with any family-business person , I could come up with five areas where conversations should be taking place but are not.

What are you waiting for? The time is never perfect. Don’t make me come over there! (Although I will if you ask).

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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“I didn’t have time”. (What it really means)

Just about everyone I know has too many things going on and not enough time to get everything done. I am not sure if it is worse now than it was in the past, but it sure seems that way.

If everyone were simply a self-contained organism, without any interactions with others, this would not really pose a problem. If you got 8 out of 10 things done on your to-do list today, and I only accomplished 4 of my 7 items, no big deal.

But few if any of us live lives without interactions with others, and the resulting inter-dependencies are at the root of many potential conflicts. When you do not get back to me about something (failing to complete just one of the things you were supposed to do), the result could be that I am unable to take care of a few of the items that I was hoping to get done.

In many ways, life is all about managing our priorities, and it seems that the less we need to rely on others, the simpler life becomes. Unfortunately it just is not possible for most of us to run our lives without having to depend on anyone.

So we try to find people who are dependable. Over time, if you weed out the less dependable ones and bring in some more of the dependable type, things should get simpler for you. But what happens when you have depended on someone for a long time and now they have let you down?

I am currently in a situation where I have worked with someone off and on over many years, and things have always gone well, until recently. You see, this man has had some recent changes in his life that have forced him to reorganize things and re-assess his priorities.
As for the area of his life that impacts mine, I had assumed that despite the changes he has faced, the work he did with me would continue to be a high enough priority for him, so that he would continue to do a great job insofar as I was concerned.

But I am now learning that I was probably wrong. Lately when I send him an email or leave him a voice message, I wait several days or even weeks before getting a response. I often end up following up an email with a call or a text before he gets back to me.

The excuse that invariably comes up in such instances is “I was going to get back to you, but I didn’t have time, because of such and such and I was busy dealing with so-and-so”.  Ugh. Yeah, it is probably true, in some respects. But what does it really mean?

Well it reminds me of a relationship book that became popular a few years ago called, “He’s just not that into you”. It was aimed and women who lament the fact that after what they felt was a great first date with a guy, he often did not follow up.

What it means in your work life when these things happen to you is similar. Yes, give someone the benefit of the doubt. Once. Maybe twice, assuming the relationship was good and has been in place for a long time. (And assuming the explanations are believable and acceptable).

But what it means to you in practice is that this person’s priorities have changed, and you had better realize quickly that you are no longer as close to the top of the list as you were before. So you would probably do well to start to plan your next move without having to rely on that person.

The sooner you start to realize that there is a new reality in place and that you need to make some changes, the sooner you can start to regain control of the situation.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Being a Good “Bad Guy”

I like to think of myself as a good guy. I think most guys do. But don’t nice guys finish last? That’s not true, is it?

A couple of weeks ago my partner Tom came into the office and lamented the fact that he was “too nice” and sometimes felt as if people were taking advantage of him because of it.

I told him that I often felt the same way. But I also said that I didn’t think he could or should ever change. And I am pretty sure that he won’t. It just isn’t in his DNA. Nor is it in mine.

But that doesn’t mean that we just simply let people walk all over us, because that is not the case either. Tom and I have a lot of traits in common, and of course we are different in many ways as well.

One of our common traits is empathy. We are both quite good at looking at things from other people’s perspectives, and then being able to understand how they feel about a situation. This is exactly what Tom was getting at when he talked about being too nice.

Getting back to the conversation we had that morning, I asked him if these feelings occurred more often in his personal life or his work life. I already knew that he would answer “personal” when I posed the question.

I have worked with Tom in many situations and seen him when he is acting for someone other than himself. When he is representing a company, a client, or another person, he is still polite and generally friendly. But when things get hairy, he can quickly lose the “good guy” persona.

I’m not sure why it is, but it is far easier for me to take on the “bad guy” role when I am representing someone else as well. Maybe we just don’t like it when we have to resort to tough tactics for our own good. Do we really want to be thought of as an A–hole? Not really.

The other day I was explaining this blog idea to my daughter, who is 11. I told her that when it comes to representing someone else, I find it easier to be the bad guy and ask the tough questions. Or to raise my voice when that is what is required.

She loves drama class and has taken improv and acting classes, so I told her that when I am in a position where I am representing someone else, I look at it kind of as a role, or, as I put it, a “schtick”.

She has heard me raise my voice more than once, and also remembers her grandfather and how it was better to remain on his good side. “Do you think I can play the role of the bad guy when I have to?” I asked. She nodded and gave me that “oh yeah” look.

We have all seen cop shows where they use the “good cop bad cop” routine to try to get a suspect to confess. What I have been talking about is different, but not completely.

Both my partner and I prefer to be the good cop, and the good cop can usually handle 90% of the situations anyone confronts. But in those situations that require it, sometimes you need to switch into the bad guy schtick.  From our experience, it is always easier to be the bad cop when you are doing it for someone else. Otherwise, you risk being the A—hole.

 

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Being Proactive versus Being Reactive

When I first heard the word “proactive”, about 20 years ago, I really did not like it. It sounded funny and awkward. It sounded made up. But I have learned to like it, mostly because it fits so well with my way of thinking.

The easiest way to help someone understand it is to contrast it with the word “reactive”. You react to something after it happens. When you are proactive, you plan and act before something happens.

Anyone can react. All of us do, every day. We start doing it from the day we are born.

But not everyone gets to the stage where they do things proactively. It’s almost as if there is some sort of maturity required of people to get to where they consistently look ahead at what is coming, and try to get things prepared in advance.

In some ways, I wonder if the ability to see the “big picture” is somehow correlated with how proactive people will be. When you see how the large pieces of the puzzle fit together, you are more likely to anticipate many of the steps in advance.

So why am I even talking about being proactive? Well, in large part it is because I don’t think enough people do it naturally, and there are some people for whom it is really really important.  Can you guess that I am talking about family business owners?

Founders of businesses, entrepreneurs, first generation family business people become successful thanks to certain traits that they have. Whether we are talking about drive and determination, knowledge of their industry, or the willingness to take risks, there are key traits that almost all of them share.

They often become consumed with running their business on a day-to-day basis, fighting fires, making their next payroll, getting the big order out the door. Long range planning? Who has time for that?

Succession planning? I don’t need that? I am never going to retire anyways. And entrepreneurs live forever, don’t they?

In second- or third-generation family businesses, planning, whether for succession or other major transitions, is usually much more structured and formalized. Could it be that the ability to make long-term plans has contributed to the fact that these businesses survived into a following generation?

Maybe being proactive does not come naturally to everyone.  Even those who acknowledge that it is important are often not able to get themselves to take a longer-term view. Some people are natural procrastinators, who only do those things that are marked URGENT, at the expense of things that are truly important. (Note to self: there is a whole other blog right there).

Let me conclude with an idea that I think can be helpful. We have all heard that people who start an exercise program with a partner are more likely to stick with it. We also know that there are some people who only succeed when they have to answer to someone else, such as a personal trainer, who keeps them on track and motivated.

I believe that being proactive, especially when we are looking at major transitions like business succession, is easiest when someone from the outside is brought in to help organize, lead, and steer the process.

Let those who run the business run the business. But in order to make sure that the long term is not an afterthought, someone needs to pull those people out of the trenches and force them to think through, discuss, and plan what needs to be done for the long term.

It’s called being proactive. I hope this blog elicits an appropriate reaction, and starts you thinking about this important subject.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Je blogue, tu blogues

Aujourd’hui j’ai décidé de faire quelque chose de nouveau avec mon blogue.  Après avoir écrit une trentaine de blogues en anglais,  je vous propose celui-ci en français.

Quand nous avons lancé notre entreprise il y a un peu plus d’un an, nous avions plusieurs décisions à prendre concernant nos communications marketing,  dont celle de la langue utilisée.

On ne se cachera pas le fait que Tom et moi sommes des “anglophones”, mais c’est un mot que je trouve assez négatif dans le contexte actuel au Québec.  Comme la plupart des professionnels qui oeuvrent au Québec, nous sommes tous deux assez bilingues.

Notre langue de communication entre nous est l’anglais, mais à tous les jours nous échangeons dans les deux langues, et je trouve cela normale.

Pour notre site web, étant donné que nous sommes plus à l’aise en anglais, nous l’avons conçu en anglais, et nous avons payé pour le faire traduire en français par des professionnels.  Si nous aurions décidé de le faire en français ou de le traduire nous-memes, le résultat aura été moins élégant.

Et quand est venu le temps de partir le blogue, je me suis lancer dedans en anglais pour commencer. Dès la journée que j’ai mis mon premier blogue sur le site web, je me suis demandé si la traduction de chaque blogue serait une bonne idée.

Les réflections à ce sujet n’étaient pas si simples que certains le croiraient. Voici quelques-uns:

Y-a-t-il un client potentiel pour nos services que déciderait de ne pas nous engager parce que j’écrit mes blogues uniquement en anglais?
Est-ce que je devrais prendre la peine de faire traduire chaque blogue en français?
Est-ce que je pourrais simplement passer le texte de chaque blogue dans un programme de traduction gratuit sur le web?
Est-ce que c’est “légale” au Québec de faire un blogue sur un site bilingue où la plupart des textes sont écrits en anglais seulement?

Nous avons opté pour la solution qui nous semblait la plus simple. Je continuerais d’écrire en anglais. Avec le temps, nous verrions si des changements seraient bénéfiques ou nécéssaires.

Nous voici déjà plusieurs mois plus tard, et la question me dérange encore. Je crois que j’y pense un peu trop, mais c’est dans ma nature de me soucier des ce genre de question.

Personnellement, je ne sais pas pourquoi il existe encore des commissions scolaires anglophone et francophones au Québec. Tous les enfants devraient apprendre les deux langues, et au Québec plus d’emphase devrait se mettre sur le français.

Je suis né en 1964, donc je commençais l’école durant le temps de a crise de la FLQ. Mes parents, immigrants allemands qui avaient appris l’anglais en arrivant à Montréal dans les années 1950, avaient décidé que leur fils devrait s’inscrire à l’école française (mes deux grandes soeurs ayants déjà commencé l’école dans le système anglais).

En septembre 1970 j’étais le seul enfant anglophone inscrit à l’École Ste-Odile à Cartierville. J’ai commencé la première année avec un vocabulaire de zéro mots.  C’était une des meilleures décisions qu’auraient pu prendre mes parents.

Tout cela pour dire que je suis capable d’écrire des blogues en français.

Et quand j’ai mentionné des blogues français à ma fille, qui est en 6ième année à l’école et qui reçoit de très bonnes notes sur son bulletin en français (comme dans toutes les matières, d’ailleurs), elle s’est tout de suite offerte pour faire une révision de mes textes avant que je les mette en ligne.

J’espère que je n’aurai pas trop de corrections à faire…

À la prochaine, probablement en anglais, mais éventuellement encore en français aussi.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Transitions Part 3: Propositions

Over the last 2 weeks we looked at transitions from a couple of different perspectives. We began by looking at some definitions, talking about how transitions are usually the result of a decision, an event, or a realization.

We expanded on that last week, looking at the recognition stage, where the many stakeholders involved each have their own individual points of view, and how most transitions really get acknowledged once a majority of those involved actually recognize that they are now in a transition stage.

This brings us to the Propositions stage, which I like to call the “so what are we gonna do about it?” stage. In the same way that a doctor cannot begin to cure you before knowing what ails you, it is only after the recognition has taken hold that you can move forward into the most important part of all.

Those who know me well will not be surprised to see where I am going with this when I get to the main point here: The key to successfully managing this stage of the transition is communication.

My default strategy in just about everything I do is to always OVER-communicate rather than under-communicate (my wife can attest to this, it drives her crazy).  But when you are in a transition stage, as opposed to more of a status quo period, it becomes even more important to communicate.

I called this the proposition stage, because once we all recognize that we are in a transition, we need to make sure we manage it in the best way possible.  Since we have already mentioned that a number of people are usually involved or at least affected, it stands to reason that their points of view need to be understood at least, and preferably also acknowledged and even incorporated into the way forward.

In fact, communication is a key thread that runs throughout this transition discussion.  Let’s go back to the first part of this. If the transition was kicked off by a decision, communicating the decision is an important step. Great care should be taken to ensure that the decision is communicated in the right way, at the right time, and as broadly as necessary.

If it is driven by an event, communicating the news of the event also needs to be done the right way, insofar as possible. And when a transition comes about as a result of a realization, you can be sure that better communication could have sped up that realization in some way.

The recognition stage is also clearly one where communication is a key component. We talked about how recognition was not just an individual thing, but more about how various stakeholders come to understand that things were no longer status quo, but that they had now moved into a transition.

At the proposition stage, communication can be looked at a bit differently. The decision-maker needs to ensure that they have all the information necessary, and they therefore should have done the necessary communicating to obtain that input.

Once they have everything they need to decide where they now want to go and therefore what the next step(s) should be, proper communication will also help to create the proper feedback loop to ensure that things proceed smoothly going forward.

Transitions are often quite complex to navigate. By breaking them down the way we have in these three blogs, we have tried to look at them in smaller pieces and provide a sort of framework to help discuss things. And the reminder to consider the importance of communication throughout the process will also prove to be helpful in managing your family transitions.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Transitions, Part 2: Recognition

Last week we looked at some definitions surrounding transitions, and this week we move into the recognition stage.  Next week we will wrap up the topic with a look at propositions surrounding transitions.

We all remember watching cartoons where the Coyote chased the Roadrunner all over the place and ended up in very precarious situations.  Sometimes he would accidentally end up going over a cliff, but he would remain suspended in mid air for quite some time before ultimately falling to his demise.

The turning point, of course, was that he looked down. Once he recognized that he was no longer on solid ground, gravity took over and he would begin hurtling towards the ground.

Now we all know that animated cartoons can make anything seem to happen regardless of how possible it is in real life. But the point that I want to make is that recognition is an important step in just about any transition.

Let’s go back to last week’s blog, where we looked at how the different people involved in a transition each have their own perspective.  Each of their recognitions of the transition is different, and may have come from an event, a decision, or a realization.

So not everyone recognizes transitions at the same time or in the same way. But it is only AFTER everyone recognizes the transition can it be properly understood in a way that everyone is on the same page.

In the same way as a doctor cannot begin to cure what ails you before she knows what illness you are suffering from, it is very difficult to move through a transition in the most productive and useful way before you recognize the transition.

And since business family transitions almost always affect several people, it is important for each of them to recognize the transition as well. Given their differing perspectives, it becomes key to get everyone to a more-or-less “common recognition” of where things stand.

I began with an unstated assumption that the goal is for the transition to proceed as smoothly as possible. In the interest of seeing that goal through, communication with all parties that are key to achieving a smooth transition is paramount.

Some leadership is required in order to get most families through major transitions. Sometimes the leadership all comes from those who are part of the family. Other times, non-family members of the business can be major players. Sometimes a facilitator can be quite useful.

Last week’s examples of the sale of a business, the passing of a founder and the appointment of a successor, all have several things in common. In my view, the most important is that they all affect several parties, and the cooperation and understanding of most or all of those parties is crucial to ensuring a smooth and successful transition.

Last week’s definitions help set us up for the recognition stage, but this week was more about making sure that everyone involved gets to a shared recognition of the transition. So now that everyone involved is “on the same page”, we can move into the proposition stage, which we will look at next week.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Transitions, Part 1: Definitions

Today’s blog will be the first of three parts on the subject of Transitions. We will start by looking at some “definitions”. Part 2 will be about “recognition” of transitions, and we will wrap up in a couple of weeks looking at the “proposition” aspects of transitions.

So we have definition, recognition and proposition.

Transitions take on various forms in many of areas of life and nature, but we will be concentrating on business families and the transitions that often affect them, which need to be handled properly in order to avoid unnecessary complications.

Now just because we are starting out with definitions, does not mean you need to define a transition before it can begin. In fact, many transitions begin regardless of whether anyone thinks of them as such.  But it does help to define things before looking into the details.

We will look at 3 elements that can be precursors to a transition: Decisions, Events and Realizations. These three elements look different to different people in the family, because no two viewpoints are the same.

Let’s look at three examples (yes, 3 again), the sale of a business, the death of a founder, and the appointment of a successor.

The head of a family business, let’s say the founder, sells the business. Most outsiders focus on the sale, or the event, and look at how it affects them. For the employees who were not aware that anything was taking place, their transition begins with the event.

But before the event took place, there was a decision to sell, which could have involved other members of the family, or some of the employees. It also likely began, though, with a realization. This could have been realizing that this was a good time to sell, that there was no likely internal successor, or even that the stress of running the business was more than it was worth.

In the example of the death of the founder, in the case of an accident, the event is surely front and center. However, if there was an illness involved, there was a realization stage and whatever decisions did or did not result from the diagnosis. A severe illness will usually trigger some decisions and action that stem from the realization that things need to be addressed.

Following the death, the remaining family members inevitably face a series of decisions, as well as certain realizations, not all of which are positive.

Appointing a successor to head the next stage of the business also involves all three elements. The identification of the successor is a large decision that usually results from a number of realizations. For someone who wished to become the successor but was not chosen, the transition often begins as a realization that can be difficult to swallow.

For the successor, the event quickly sets off their transition, and their ensuing decisions will result in realizations for others, and then their decisions, and so on.

I know that I have thrown a lot of stuff at you here, and my hope is that we can make use of some of this terminology to help understand aspects of transitions that are often overlooked.

Next week we will tackle the recognition stage, which will attempt to look at a transition once everyone involved has hit the realization stage, while understanding how the events and decisions involved have different effects on everyone.

And not surprisingly, we will see that there are some unanticipated issues that can come back to haunt us if we don’t think things through in advance.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Coming Out of the Dark

It was about this time last year that Tom and I started to seriously discuss the business venture that has now become TSI Heritage. Quite a few things have changed for me as a result, but I wanted to share one in particular.

You see, as the head of a Single-Family Office, I preferred to keep a very low profile. When people find out that you manage family money, a few things happen.

Typically, many form an instant opinion about you, not unlike the Steve Forbes scenario that I discussed in last week’s post.  But still others instantly see you as the perfect recipient to their great sales pitch, for whatever financial product that they just happen to be peddling.

So for those reasons, and a few others, keeping a low profile was the way to go for me. And I did not mind. Some of the people who know me may think of me as an extrovert, but I honestly feel more like a natural introvert, so laying low also works with my personality.

So what changed? Well, all of a sudden, now that we decided to offer family-office services to other families, not only can I no longer lay low, I actually have to “sell” myself, and the services that Tom and I now provide to other families.

It is as if I had been hiding, and am now forced out of the dark and into the bright light, saying “Look at me, I can help!” Ugh!

I have always preferred the soft sell, whichever side of the table I happen to be on. When people come on too strong with their sales pitch to me, my guard immediately goes way, way up, and I am usually turned off for good. Now that I am the one who needs to be the pitchman, I certainly prefer the soft sell even more.

In fact, when we started, I told Tom that I wanted to be so exclusive with our service offer that we should only accept clients who were prepared to beg us to take them on.

Obviously we are not that stringent in evaluating potential clients, but it is quite clear that in order for a relationship such as this to work long term, it needs to be a good fit for both parties.

With this venture as in all others, I continue to prefer to crawl before walking and then to walk before running.  So, marketing-wise, my preference has been to go slowly as well.

We set up our website in order to explain our thinking and our proposition.  There will be a few changes to the site coming soon as well, and one change will be to highlight the blog section, as it has become the liveliest part of the site.

Tom and I have also become quite active on LinkedIn, which is a very useful networking tool, more so than I had imagined. If you work in any business or professional capacity and you are not yet on LinkedIn, I strongly encourage you to not only sign up, but to really get into it.

There are plenty of other things that continue to evolve in our venture, and we look forward to moving things forward in 2013. As for coming out of the dark, I understand that the first year is the hardest, so you can expect to hear more from me. But I promise to stick with the soft sell.

 

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Poor Steve Forbes

In the 1990’s, Steve Forbes was attempting to secure the Republican Party’s nomination to run for President of the United States. He was not necessarily a front-runner, but he was highly regarded by many, in part because of his proposal for a flat tax.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the nomination. At some point during the campaign, a question was asked of all the candidates, in order to try to find out what made them think that they would be the right person to lead their country.

The question was quite simple, but Forbes’ honest answer was seen by many as one of the reasons his bid faltered soon after.  It seems that many did not think his response was credible. As I recall, Forbes was asked about the biggest challenge he had overcome in his life. So what was the answer that he gave, which pretty well ended his hopes of ever becoming President?

He said that taking over his father’s business was the biggest challenge that he had ever faced.  Aaaaah, poor Steve Forbes! His Daddy gave him a big company and he had to work hard to “take over”, ooooh, that sounds really tough.

Bet he would have preferred to be born poor. Rather than judging him based on the job he did in actually taking over the family business, people chose to focus on the fact that this did not seem like a very worthwhile “challenge”. The fact that the current US President was a former “community organizer” is beside the point.

People simply thought that “taking over from Daddy” sounds like a pretty cushy job. So he was a member of the “lucky sperm club”, he should just be happy and shut up. If this was the toughest thing that he has ever faced, he must not be very “battle tested”.

But wait a second.  Aren’t we regularly hit over the head with statistics about the poor survival rate of family businesses from one generation to the next? Aren’t successful transitions the exception to the rule? Well, yes, passing a business on to one’s children is not as easy as it looks or sounds.

But when businesses are successfully passed down, the credit almost always goes to the older generation who did such a great job preparing their offspring for the transition. But aren’t there two parts to that equation?

Maybe the reason that successes are few and far between is because there are so many ways for things to go wrong. In fact, the expectation level that exists in some business families alone is enough to make the transfer a long shot from going well. I remember this Forbes story really well because I could identify with it, having grown up in a business family.

As the only son, my father made it quite clear what was expected of me. I do not regret following in his footsteps, but I truly never felt like I had a choice. I don’t know if Steve Forbes felt the same way, but it certainly would not be surprised. The fact that he was seemingly successful in taking over should not have been held against him as it was.  But once again, in politics, perception is more important than reality.  And sadly, it’s not just in politics either.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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