Looking for the “Real Will”

I came across a crazy news story last week, and since it is tangentially related to matters that I like to blog about, I thought it would be worth tackling. Here are both the headline and the subhead that made me click the link.

3 accused in desecration of Colebrook grave
Grave desecration related to inheritance, police say
In case you are interested in the whole backstory, here is a link:
http://tinyurl.com/RealWill
Here is my “Reader’s Digest” version of what happened. Local businessman dies. Ten years later (yes, 10 years) one of his daughters engages the help of some friends to go and dig up his grave, convinced (somehow) that he was buried with the “Real Will”.

There are a few elements to this story that I found surprising, the first of which is the location, in New Hampshire. For whatever reason I had figured that it would more likely have taken place in any number of other US states, none of which I will name here, I will let you use your imagination and choose your “favourite” state.

Another surpise was the time that elapsed between the burial and the desecration. We can assume that the daughter was not happy with the way the estate was settled, but why did she decide to wait ten years to act on it?

We will get away from this specific story and move on to more general comments in a moment but not before asking the obvious question: “Who the heck would bury someone with the “real will”, or any will, for that matter?”

Okay, end of rant. So what really went on here, and how could all this have been avoided?

Well for one thing, if the businessman had taken the time to inform his family members of the contents of his will, while he was still alive, I think it is pretty safe to assume this scene would have been avoided.

Maybe some people reading this think I am crazy for thinking that sharing the contents of your will with others is a good idea, and that would not surprise me.

A few weeks ago I was in Vancouver for the CAFÉ (Cdn Assoc. of Family Entrprises) Symposium. Tom Deans, author of the book “Willing Wisdom”, was one of the keynote speakers.

Deans talked about getting family members involved and writing a”collaborative will”. He admits that sometimes his message is not well received, and many people look at his proposition with great scepticism.

I am not one of those people, and I believe that he and I are singing from the same page. In my soon-to-be-released book, SHIFT your Family Business, you will be able to read my take on the subject of working together with your family on important issues like your legacy.

Collaboration and communication are two important aspects of business families that often do not get the recognition that they should.

The more people work together on something, and have a hand in how it is put together, the more likely they are to support it in the future. Whether it is a family business, other family assets or wealth, or simply a will that lays out someone’s wishes, it doesn’t much matter.

Get your loved ones involved, or at the very least let them know what is in your will, so that they won’t be surprised and disappointed later. If that means disappointing them now, and you want to avoid that, well then you have some things to work on, don’t you?

And for God sakes make sure that they don’t bury you with the “Real Will”.

But your kids are smarter than that, right?

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Bonne fête des paires

Depuis que mon père est décedé en 2008, chaque fête des pères soulève une variété d’émotions pour moi.

D’une part, je suis très reconnaissant des sacrifices que mon père avait fait, et ce, presque tout au long de sa vie, pour sa famille. D’une autre part, ma réflection devient difficile, puisque je suis tenté de me comparer à lui.

Et de là, le titre que j’ai donné à ce blogue, un jeu de mots, sur “père”, versus “paire”.

Ceux qui ont des enfants sont presque tous d’accord que tout change le moment qu’on devient parent, il n’y a pas trop d’exceptions là-dessus.

Et parmi les hommes que je connais qui ont perdu leur père, une grande partie comprennent la pertinence de l’expression: “C’est quand ton père meurt que tu deviens vraiment un homme”.

La fête des pères, pour moi, en tant que parent, est quand même assez spéciale. Mes deux enfants sont forcés à admettre que je suis un papa plus ou moins “adéquat” pour eux. Lors de leur passage au primaire, ils revenaient de l’ecole avec des cartes et des cadeaux fabriqués à l’école avec amour.

J’adore leur conter des histoires des fêtes des pères de ma jeunesse, où mes soeurs et moi avions essayé de confondre notre père avec des cadeaux bizarres.

Mon père était un homme sérieux, et pendant qu’il était en affaires, cela lui servait bien. À sa retraite, il était devenu un peu plus facile à approcher, surtout avec l’arrivée de ses petits-enfants.

Mais revenons au jeu de mots, pères, et paires. Pour mon papa, il n’avait pas beaucoup de paires dans sa vie. C’était lui le “boss”, au bureau, et chez nous.

Éventuellement, en vieillissant, il avait accepté qu’il n’était plus celui qui devait, ni qui pouvait, controller toutes les aspects et décisions dans sa vie. Presque tout d’un coup, il avait abdiqué son rôle de patron, pour accepter les décisions de ses enfants. Malheureusement, il était déjà rentré à l’hôpital pour la dernière fois quand ça c’est passé.

Durant les années où nous travaillions ensemble dans notre “family office”, même vers la fin quand je prenais la plupart des décisions, souvent sans lui en parler d’avance, c’était toujours clair que c’était lui le père ET le boss, et que j’étais le fils, ET l’employé.

Je ne sais pas si c’est parce que nous vivons dans un ère plus moderne, ou si c’est simplement mon style d’être parent, mais je ne préconise pas cette façon de faire.

Pour ma part, j’ai hâte que mes enfants deviennent mes paires. Ils n’y sont pas rendus encore, et ils ont encore bien des choses à apprendre, et ceci de leurs deux parents, en plus de l’école.

Dans certains domaines, notamment tout ce qui entoure les ordinateurs et la technologie, ils ont déjà une longueur d’avance sur nous, sans surprise. Dans d’autres, ils nous approchent à grand pas.

Mais personnellement, je prend beaucoup de fiérté en leur faisant confiance pour toutes les questions qui concernent leurs décisions personnelles, en leurs offrant mes conseils, mais sans leur dire quoi faire.

Je n’ai aucune ambition de controller mes enfants, et je veux qu’ils deviennent mes paires assez rapidement.

J’aimerais co-exister avec eux dans une ambiance de collaboration et d’entre-aide, pendant encore des dizaines d’années.

Je crois que cette attitude pourrait également être bénéfique pour d’autres familles. Les familles où le père contrôle tout, jusqu’à sa mort, sont chose du passée, n’est-ce pas?

Je vous laisserai réfléchir là-dessus.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Enter with Courage, Exit with Dignity

In last week’s blog, I mentioned that I would soon be attending a workshop on “Dealing with difficult people. I spent some time on whether it is the people who are difficult, or just their situations, as well as the wisdom of trying to avoid difficulty indefinitely, in the hope that things would just improve on their own.

This week I was in Toronto for the workshop, and it provided me with a lot of great tools and ideas that I will surely put to good use. One of the memorable take-aways for me was something that was not only unexpected, but after I wrote it down, I could not even recall what caused the course leader to add it to the flipchart in the first place.

What I do remember is that while debriefing a roleplay we had just done, she wrote down the words “Courage & Dignity” in thick black marker. Something compelled me to write those words onto the page I had created in my binder for important ideas that I wanted to recall in the future.

We had been working on the idea that before entering into a discussion that would likely be difficult, it is usually a good idea to do some preparation. What is the goal, what emotions might be evoked, are their any identity issues that could come into play, those sorts of things.

My take was that while it was certainly a good idea to prepare, going in with a long list of ideas was not the best approach for me. To my way of thinking, summarizing the preparation in a few words was a better way to guide my approach.

The one word that grabbed me was “courage”. How many times have you been in a situation where your brain knew that there was something important that needed to be addressed, but you could not bring yourself to say the words required to bring the issue to light?

So my first take-away was to remind myself to summon the courage required to actually get the tough issues on the table.

And what about the dignity?

When we bring forth difficult topics, often someone will be put on the defensive. We probably want to avoid this, which is likely why the subject has been left unaddressed for so long.

But just as it is possible to disagree without being disagreeable, it is possible to have a mature discussion, about just about any topic, where you make sure that everyone leaves with their dignity intact.

What do I mean by having your dignity intact? People do not usually like to feel like they have been attacked, and they rarely feel good when they feel like they have lost something.

Personal attacks should be avoided at all costs, and so should win-lose situations. It takes some emotional maturity to do things in a way that everyone can leave a difficult discussion with their head held high, but it can be done.

In a business family, the people who need to discuss sensitive issues are often relatives, and they are sometimes from different generations. This combination of familiarity and built-in hierarchy can make these discussions very tricky.

Believe me when I say that I fully understand why it is difficult for Junior to tell Dad that there need to be some changes. Been there, done that.

But if Junior can summon the courage, and be mindful of Dad’s dignity, he is much more likely to be successful.

And if he can’t do it alone, he should enlist the help of others, either from within the family, or from the outside.

Enter with courage, and make sure everyone leaves with their dignity. Good luck.

 

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Avoiding Difficulty: It’s Not Always Easy

Over breakfast with a coaching colleague recently, I informed her that I was enrolled in an upcoming workshop on “Dealing with Difficult People”.

She was almost aghast that in this day and age, an organisation would use the term “Difficult People” in the name of a course that they offer. “Hmmm”, I thought, maybe she has a point. Once a person is labelled “Difficult”, often many of their issues become even harder to overcome because of the term.

Maybe the name of the course has failed to evolve with time, or maybe a more politically correct term would not attract as many participants, but the subject of difficult people, difficult situations, and difficult conversations has been top of mind for me lately.

Sometimes we spend a lot of energy doing everything we possibly can to avoid dealing with topics that make us uncomfortable. Other times, we are comfortable with an issue, but we fear that the person to whom we want to deliver a message will not take it well, and it is therefore easier to avoid it.

If someone really needs to understand something important, but nobody is willing to help them see the light, or to help them see themselves as others do, is it really better to just go on and not try to help them, just because it might be difficult?

When communicating with others on sensitive subjects, most of us have heard the term “you can disagree without being disagreeable”. I am talking about much the same thing here.

I often tell my kids that what you say is important, but HOW you say it is even more important.

Broaching difficult subjects requires tact, emotional maturity, empathy, and the ability to listen to people without judging them.

In a family business situation, these sorts of scenarios play themselves out over and over. And because family members have so much history together, a lot of things get carried around like excess baggage, for far too long.

Sometimes situations fester and eventually a difficult conversation can no longer be avoided. It is usually only after this discussion has taken place that any real progress can actually happen. Family members will sometimes look back and recall that the difficult confrontation that they were trying to avoid was actually the key to moving forward.

So not only is avoiding difficulty not always easy, it is not always recommended. It sometimes takes courage to begin discussions that must be had, but that courage is often rewarded.

A fresh perspective from an objective set of eyes can be so helpful for the person who needs to make some changes but who has not seen the urgency to act.

Nobody is “difficult” per se. Everyone deserves a chance to be the best they can be, especially in a family business.

One of the biggest obstacles to happiness in business families is poor communication, which leads to confusion over roles, ambiguity about future goals, and assumptions that each person makes about where they fit, now and in the future.

Clarifying these things involves communication, and much of that communication includes conversations, and they are often difficult conversations.

But the longer those difficult conversations are put off, the more confusion, ambiguity, and wrong assumptions take root, and then you risk the possibility of some members of the family becoming “Difficult people”.

People are not difficult. Situations can be difficult. Change the labels, look at things realistically, start the conversations gently, listen to others, without judgment, and move forward.

Nobody ever said it was going to be easy.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Did You Hear the One About the Family Business That…

I spent three days in Vancouver this week at the CAFÉ Symposium, along with a couple of hundred like-minded family business types. The Canadian Association of Family Enterprises (CAFÉ for short) has been running their symposium every 2 years, but they are now going to make it an annual event, starting next spring in Toronto.

So what happens at these events? I’m glad you asked.

Wednesday started with an optional factory tour that was hard to resist, since we got to see the inner workings of a chocolate factory. I had the pleasure of being in the plant tour group that was lead by the patriarch of the company, and I had flashbacks of my own father showing off his shop a few decades ago, seeing the pride a builder exhibits when showing off the operations of his business.

The remainder of the program was a combination of keynote speeches, workshops, an awards dinner, and my favourite part, the “Business Family Story” discussions, along with their Q & A sessions.

I love to hear stories about families who are in business together because they are all so different and we can always learn something new. The first family that we heard from was a media company, founded by a man who eventually brought his daughters into the business, including one who was recently named president.

Afterward, the father-daughter team who run the chocolatier came up and told the story of their business, and how they dealt with their succession and how the daughter purchased the company from him over several years.

The next day featured a family in the hospitality industry that was even more fascinating. Dad was in his 70’s and chairman of the board, and all four of his children were in key positions, including the oldest son who is President. This is not that rare of course, but the fact the he had promoted his son to the presidency at the age of 22 did have some in the audience shaking their heads.

On the last day, 2 cousins took the stage to tell the story of their business family’s journey from great-grandpa in the mining business, and his company that was passed down to grandpa, now owned by 3 siblings in the third generation (G3).

The two members of G4 talked about how they are working on the ways that several members of G4 will eventually take over the family assets, as they have recently shown their ability to take over and run the family foundation. They are also looking at how members of G5 can begin to play important roles.

The open exchange of what families have done, what else they tried, what worked and what didn’t, and the sharing of their trials and tribulations, along with their successes, was not only fascinating, but inspiring.

There was plenty of teaching and learning going on over the three days, and I left feeling like many business families are finding excellent ways of dealing with the issues that make family business so interesting and challenging at the same time, thanks in part to the help of CAFÉ.

I also got to meet several other advisors who are graduates of the Family Enterprise Advisor program. Since the program originated at UBC, there are so many more FEA alumni in Vancouver. I mentioned that all of the FEA certificants from Quebec got together for a meeting recently, but that unfortunately that included only me from the 2013 Toronto cohort having lunch with Joe Havas from 2012.

This also reminded me of my, Dad who used to say that he had held a board meeting earlier that morning, while in the shower, alone. Family businesses still seem to be reluctant to appoint outside boards of directors, but thankfully more and more are seeking the help of qualified and experienced outside advisors.

I will certainly be at the CAFÉ Annual Symposium in Toronto in 2015.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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“Me” versus “We” in the Family Business

Our family was watching Shark Tank together last night, and one of the companies making their pitch did something that I see far too often.

There were two women standing before the sharks, and in response to a question, one of them continually responded with “I have done this…”, “I can do that…”, while her partner stood there looking like a nobody.

Now it is highly probable that the woman using the first person singular pronoun “I” is in fact the only person who owns their company, or is at least the one at the top of their company food chain.

But if that is the case, what was the point of bringing along the other person? I see something similar, far too often, when shopping at local retailers. When I ask someone if they have a particular item, the reply sometimes comes “I have some in the back”, or “I’m getting some in next week.”

Well if the person saying this is the owner of the store, I certainly understand that, but when it comes from a teenager at a big box store, I think it is safe to say that they do not own the place, and therefore the item I am asking about is not “theirs” in any way.

In a family business context, this can be pretty tricky too. If Mom or Dad started the business without the kids, they can certainly be forgiven if they continue to say I rather than we. But what do they gain by that?

Maybe it is a cultural thing, but to me it smacks of some kind of ego gratification and making oneself seem important. But again, what is gained?

I daresay that in most contexts, a customer would feel more reassured knowing that they are dealing with a company comprised of several people who all care about serving them as a customer, rather than by just one, especially if the one is not “the boss”.

Back to the family scenario, so Dad keps saying “I” even when the children have taken on significant roles, no big deal, right? Well think about it from the perspective of those kids, how do they feel? Early on it is not much of an issue, but what about after 5 years, or 15, or 25?

To illustrate let me share a story about a related question, what the kids call their parents. As a child, I called my father “Daddy”. That is fine when you are 8, but at 28, or 38, it sounds pretty childish. I was ashamed to use the term, so I always found a way to avoid calling him anything. After all those years switching to “Dad” did not feel right.

With my own kids, I let them call me “Daddy” for the first couple of years, but then insisted they call me “Dad”, and they have been doing it ever since. (Okay, I’ll admit they sometimes call me Stevo, but never Daddy)

Old habits are hard to break, but they can be broken. What is needed first is the recognition that a change is needed, and then an insistance that the change be made. Then, with repetition, and more repetition, the change can become permanent.

The other thing to point out is the sooner you start, the easier it is.

The specific words that we use are often more important than we think they are, and when you switch to using “we” instead of “I”, it is rarely just a change in vocabulary.

The shift in attitude that comes along with the change in vocabulary is even more important. And don’t forget, it can come before OR after.

That’s right, you can change your attitude and decide to change the words you use, OR, you can change the words you use, and your attitude will eventually change too. Try it.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Communication is a Two-Way Street

Communication is a topic that comes up often when discussing what family businesses need to work on. With ubiquitous communication technology today, you would think that a subject like communication would have ceased to be an issue, after all, everyone is always reachable, right? If only it were so easy.

In a business family, one problem that is difficult to address is communication that only goes in one direction, from the top, down. After all, if the parents raised their children by simply telling them what to do, why would anything be different when they are at work together?

One of the issues with that style is that when messages only travel in one direction, they sometimes begin to fall on deaf ears. The biggest problem with communication, as they say, is the illusion that it has taken place. That is difficult enough to deal with in the best of situations, but when it happens because the speaker is being tuned out, it is a symptom of much bigger problems.

I know that in my situation with my father, things evolved over time with respect to communication flow. I truly believe that he, like many parents, wanted to listen to what his kids had to say, but just took a long time to realize that what we had to say was not only valid and pertinent, but that it was in the interest of the whole family to work together in a more collaborative fashion.

I do not like being told what to do, and I think most people feel the same way. Management styles have thankfully evolved a great deal, and the autocratic way of yelling at people just seems like such a throwback these days.

But while you can suggest to people that is is more important to listen to others than to speak, that doesn’t mean they are all going to suddenly start doing so. Learning to truly listen takes a lot of practice, but it can be learned. Some people just seem to take longer to understand that they should listen to others.

A family business is a tricky environment due to the intersection of the family and the business, and unfortunately some old-fashioned parenting styles and management styles still linger. Most parents in the older generation eventually see the light, but others never do, to the point of devising ways to continue to control things, even from the grave.

These situations can be very frustrating for the next generation successors to deal with. It can be helpful in these situations for the siblings to get together and begin to work on their own communication, in the belief that they will most likely outlive their parents and therefore will eventually need to get along without the senior generation’s help or interference.

Sometimes brothers and sisters begin to meet, get along better and develop a consensus for how things will eventually be handled after their parents have passed away. Sometimes the parents become intrigued when they hear of these meetings, and ask to be invited to join.

I could not end this blog without mentioning Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which I read many years ago. My favourite habit, and one that some have called his greatest quote:

Habit 5: “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.”

If you can make that a habit, you have no choice but to listen more intently. If others are having difficulty doing so, the more they see you model this behaviour, the more likely they will eventually catch on as well.

It is certainly worth the effort. Then, if you can not only listen, but also learn to listen without judgment, you will see that you are really on to something, but that is a subject for another blog.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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NextGen Successors: Time to Step Up

One of the topics that comes up over and over again in the family business arena is that of the next generation and their preparedness to take over the reins.

Who has not heard at least one tale of a leader who is reluctant to let go, while claiming that the supposed successor is not yet seasoned enough to do the job. Many people will rightly point out that part of the leader’s job should have been to ensure that a successor would be ready, but they would be missing a big part of the picture.

The next generation (NextGen) also has an important duty here, and it sometimes gets forgotten. While the current leading generation should be helping prepare their successors, the following generation MUST not only follow along, but they actually need to take the lead.

I wrote a blog a couple of months ago (http://www.fbo7624.com/blog/pre-mediated-planning-makes-sense-me) about some of the great work of Dean Fowler. In that post, I concentrated on the phrase that he used, “Pre-Mediated Planning”, because it really resonnated with me, since it was a new term, but I also found it catchy, memorable, and frankly “blog-worthy”.

A few weeks ago I was invited to lead a workshop on the Family Circle at an upcoming Families in Business event at the University of Vermont (http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e933f02d3632cace&llr=rejdpeeab). While discussing the title and subject of my breakout session with Dann van der Vliet, the organiser, he mentioned that blog post as a possible idea.

I agreed, and decided that I should contact Dean Fowler to clear it with him, lest I be somehow misappropriating his work. When Dr. Fowler replied, he indicated that he was fine with my discussing the pre-mediated planning aspect part, but his main concern was that I was missing his main point. Ergo this blog post, to make sure that I give that point its due.

Fowler stresses that the families he has worked with that have had the most successful transitions, are the ones where the NextGen successors actively took on leadership roles. But we are not just talking about a leadership role in the company, but a leading role in the transition.

Another way to say this is that the successors did not sit back and wait to be given the company, they actually proved that they were ready and left no doubt that they were ready to take over the company.

Is this another one of those ideas that is easier said than done? I believe it is, but then again, most things that are worth doing are not easy. It is simple to explain, but not necessarily easy to accomplish. So how can we put the odds in our favour?

As is so often the case, the word “communication” comes immediately to mind, but unfortunately, imploring families to communicate better is rarely sufficient. They usually need more specific advice on who needs to communicate what, to whom, and how often. So here we go.

The two generations need to make it clear to each other that all the people involved have a realistic understanding of what needs to happen over the coming number of years. In fact, a great place to begin would be to define a timeline, so that both groups can work with a similar schedule.

The leading generation must be realistic and understand that they will not be around forever, and that it is in the entire family’s interest to make the business transition successful.

The NextGen need to take the proverbial bull by the horns, though, even if their elders are reluctant to see it the same way. They need to proactively go about the business of preparing themselves to take over, regardless of any attitudes of immortality that there parents generation might exhibit.

Yes, easier said than done, but the sooner it starts, the better for all.

 

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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Bien faire, ça prend du temps

Je deviens parfois frustré par le temps nécessaire pour accomplir certaines tâches, et je crois que la plupart des gens ressentent souvent le même sentiment. Il me semble que nous sous-estimons presque toujours le nombre de semaines ou de mois qu’un projet prendra, et la fréquence avec laquelle nous terminons les choses à temps (ou même en avance!) est effectivement très basse.

Des exemples? Commençons avec la création d’un site web. J’ai déjà deux sites web, mais je ne les aime pas beaucoup, puisqu’ils ont été conçus il y a un certain temps, et ils ne répondent plus à mes besoins. Il y a plusieurs mois, j’avais donné un contrat à une compagnie pour développer mon nouveau site, mais je l’attends toujours.

Mais je ne peux pas blâmer la compagnie, parce que depuis l’octroi du contrat, j’ai changé les spécifications, ce qui a fallu des semaines de retard pendant que je redéfinissais ce que je voulais. Je sais que le résultat sera beaucoup meilleur, mais le fait de vivre avec les retards est assez frustrant quand même.

La leçon ici, c’est que pour avoir quelque chose qui a de l’allure, il faut être patient, parce que la bonne qualité, ça prend du temps.

Pour mon deuxième exemple, je veux discuter de conditionnement physique. Aujourd’hui, je viens de compléter une course de 5 KM pour la première fois. Je me suis inscrit pour la course vers la fin du mois de février, et je croyais à l’époque qu’avec deux mois de préparations, je serais en mesure de courir la majorité de la course, parce que je ne voulais pas simplement marcher le 5 KM.

En réalité, avec le niveau de conditionnement que j’avais au début, il y aurait fallu quelques mois additionnels. De plus, pendant les 3 dernières semaines, je ne me suis même pas entrainé une fois à cause d’une blessure à mon genou. La blessure était le résultat du programme d’entrainement trop progressif que je m’étais fait, parce que je n’avais pas prévu assez de temps de préparation. Plus de temps aurait été bénéfique.

Je pourrais aussi parler de mon livre qui devrait sortir dans les prochains mois. Je croyais avoir complété l’écriture du texte avec assez de temps pour que la production se termine avant ma date limite, (je me suis imposé un “deadline” de mon 50ième anniversaire, au mois d’août) mais les réponses que je commence à recevoir de la compagnie qui fera la publication me laissent avec des doutes.

Mais mon but dans ce blogue est de parler d’entreprises familiales, n’est-ce pas? Bon, alors, quand vient le temps de planifier et d’executer des transitions dans les familles en affaires, est-ce que vous pensez qu’elles se laissent trop de temps, juste assez de temps, ou pas assez de temps?

Dans les exemples que j’ai cités, je parlais de semaines et de mois. Mais quand on essaye de préparer une nouvelle génération pour son avenir dans la gestion d’une entreprise, c’est plutôt en années ou même en décennies qu’on devrait penser.

Et en plus du transfert de la gestion de l’entreprise, il y a aussi le transfert des actions de la compagnie. Avec tout cela, il faut penser en termes de gestion de la famille, pas simplement de la business.

Du point de vue de la complexité, on ne parle pas nécessairement de projet comme la construction du CHUM ou du nouveau Pont Champlain, mais si on doit se faire un échéancier, le nombre d’années devient comparable.

Quand il s’agit de décisions importantes, et de changements qui affectent beaucoup de gens, et surtout des gens que nous aimons, il est quasiment impossible de prendre trop de temps pour être sûr de notre coup.

Malheureusement, les familles attendent souvent trop longtemps pour commencer ces transferts importants. J’essaye de vous convaincre autrement, et j’espère que vous saisissez le message.

Steve Legler “gets” business families.
 
He understands the issues that families face, as well as how each family member sees things from their own viewpoint.
 
He specializes in helping business families navigate the difficult areas where the family and the business overlap, by listening to each person’s concerns and ideas.  He then helps the family work together to bridge gaps by building common goals, based on their shared values and vision.
 
His background in family business, his experience running his own family office, along with his education and training in coaching, facilitation, and mediation, make him uniquely suited to the role of advising business families and families of wealth.
 
He is the author of Shift your Family Business (2014), he received his MBA from the Richard  Ivey School of Business (UWO, 1991), is a CFA Charterholder (CFA Institute, 2002), a Family Enterprise Advisor (IFEA 2014), and has received the ACFBA and CFWA accreditations (Family Firm Institute 2014-2015).
 
He prides himself on his ability to help families create the harmony they need to support the legacy they want. To learn how, start by signing up for his monthly newsletter and weekly blogs here.
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