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The End Result of a Great Wealth Transition
This week we’re looking at a subject from a bit of a different angle, as I’ve decided to share my thoughts on a recent book that I want readers to be aware of.
As an avid learner, I consume my share of reading material every year, but occasions where I dedicate an entire blog post to one particular book have been pretty rare.
Well, Dr. Tom Deans has just published his third book, The Happy Inheritor, and based on the sales of his previous efforts, I expect that many people will read it, if they haven’t already.
I’ve been a fan of Deans’ work since I met him over a decade ago, and we’ve shared thoughts and conversations over the years, as we both toil in the field of family wealth transitions, and are both proud Canadians.
Feeling Compelled to Write and Share
Deans recently told me that he had not planned to write a third book, but then he seized upon a subject that he felt that he couldn’t let go of.
As an author and public speaker, he kept meeting people from wealthy families who were failing to follow what to him were some pretty straightforward recommendations when planning their wealth transfers.
Some great clues as to what to expect from the book come right from the front cover, where the secondary title reads “How successful families prepare heirs and transfer wealth”.
The fact that we both agree on the need to prepare heirs shouldn’t come as much of a surprise to my regular readers.
But there’s another line on the book’s cover that may seem a bit further afield from my writings, to wit, “Many people transfer family wealth with great care and joy, while others use it to control and destroy”.
While I can write provocatively at times, that’s a line I would not have come up with on my own.
Regular Family Meetings
If I had to boil the book’s message down to one statement, it would be something like this:
The best way to ensure a happy inheritance is to make sure that the whole family meets together regularly to discuss their wealth transfer plan, “with kindness, care and joy” (quote from the back cover).
My regular readers will recognize this recommendation, as it is something I’ve repeated here in various ways over the decade plus I’ve been sharing my thoughts on this overall subject.
While some families hope that they can accomplish a lot by having one single big meeting, where they download the leading generation’s “instructions” as a monologue, Deans seems to agree that a series of regular forums, where ideas are discussed between generations, is a more durable solution.
Beware the Covert Narcissist – Hiding in Plain Sight
I would be remiss in sharing my thoughts on The Happy Inheritor if I skipped over a very important secondary theme that Deans tackles throughout the book.
I already hinted at it above, and it’s all about the fact that in some families, there are some figures who are actually working towards a more nefarious goal, and enjoy using their wealth to “control and destroy”.
He spends a good portion of the book detailing these “covert narcissists” that exist in many families, and the fact that these people are often hard to detect because they always come off as nice and agreeable.
These people always say nice things and seem very friendly, yet they quietly go about trying to control everything and everyone in harmful ways.
These folks don’t exist in every family, thankfully, but they are more prevalent than you might imagine, and they can completely kibosh wealth planning for their family.
Understanding Appropriate Expectations
When you get right down to it, planning for the intergenerational transition of wealth in a family comes down to everyone understanding what’s expected.
As I wrote in Striving for the All AND Nothing Inheritance, most parents would be thrilled to know that they could leave all of their considerable wealth to their offspring without worrying whether or not they could handle it, while at the same time understanding that even if they left their next generation with nothing, that would also turn out alright.
The best way to make sure that appropriate expectations are met, is to talk about them together on a regular basis, in structured family meetings, ideally with the help of an independent facilitator.
