Why do some families stay stuck even when everyone in the room says they want to move forward? In this episode of the Purposeful Planning Institute’s PPI 101 Podcast Series, I sit down with Dr. Charles Eckhart to unpack family systems theory — and why it gives advisors a far more useful way of seeing the families they serve.
Family Systems for Advisors 101
Three ideas every advisor should know
Charles traces family systems thinking back to its roots in family therapy, then brings it into the world of family wealth and family business through three foundational concepts.
Wholeness & interdependence
A family is a connected unit, not a collection of individuals. The relationships between people matter as much as the people themselves — and each generation meets needs for the others.
Circular causality
Conflict rarely has a single cause or a single “problem” person. Many forces push and pull at once, and everyone in the system plays a part — usually without realizing it.
Homeostasis
Families tend to resist change, even change they want. As outsiders, advisors can often see what keeps a family frozen in place and help it start moving again.
Everyone is waiting on everyone else
Parents hold off on talking about the family’s wealth until their children “show they’re ready.” Meanwhile, the rising generation postpones big career and life decisions until they know more about what’s coming. Each side is waiting on the other — and the whole family stays stuck. Charles walks through how a systems lens explains this pattern, and how advisors can help both sides take the first step.
Questions to bring a systems lens to your work
Charles offers a few practical prompts advisors can use with the families they serve.
- What transitions is this family going through — or about to face?Shift the focus from individuals to how the family as a whole needs to evolve.
- What role might this conflict or behavior be playing for the whole family?Map the tension on paper, then ask what it may be protecting or preserving.
- Where can we learn more?Keep building your understanding of family systems so you can spot these patterns sooner.
Where to go next
Family Therapy: Concepts and Methods by Michael P. Nichols and Richard C. Schwartz — Charles’s recommended starting point, and a clear overview of the major family systems frameworks advisors can draw on.
Meet the voices
Dr. Charles Eckhart
Founder of Cathexis Group, PPI’s Dean of Family Dynamics, Systems Theory, and Relationships, and leader of PPI’s Family Systems Theory Learning Circle.
Steve Legler
Family business advisor and family legacy coach helping enterprising families navigate succession, communication, and the transition between generations.
Originally published by the Purposeful Planning Institute.
