People talk about money and think about it often. That’s normal, since it’s seen as the source of many problems, and above all of their solutions. But often it would be better to look further, and we’ll see that it’s not just the money that’s at issue.
A few examples to illustrate: The first few times I volunteered at a food bank, I often wanted to reach into my pocket and pull out a $1 or $2 to help someone out, but I had to hold myself back. The clients are required to pay $1 per adult to be entitled to their box of food. The rules are there for good reasons, and by stepping in like that, I could have undermined them. The first time the director saw me take out my wallet, the look she gave me explained it to me immediately.
I have a sister who works in the health care system, and my partner works with non-profit organizations. They both witness budget shortfalls, and on a daily basis. But they also both agree that it isn’t money that’s most lacking. It’s always easy to say that with more money, everything would be better, but it isn’t always the truth. Better structures, governance, organization, a push in the right direction: these are all ways to improve things without adding more money.
Now let’s take one of my favourite topics, the legacy we want to leave to our children and grandchildren. Is it simply money that we’d like to leave them? Is it just money that they want to receive? I hope that won’t be the case for me and my children.
When I say it’s not just money, you might think I’m forgetting other tangible assets that have monetary value, like jewellery, art, real estate, but that’s not even my point. I’m talking here, rather, about intangibles.
I hope I haven’t lost too many people. I hope you won’t all think I’m talking about love. But yes, love is part of it; maybe a very big part. I love my children, you love your children, we all know that. But as parents, how does that love show up in our children?
A gap I see far too often in parents is that they don’t take the time to educate their children about what’s important in life. I’m talking about the family’s values, where they come from, where they are, and where they’re going. We’re a long way from talking about money, aren’t we?
But in the dynastic families we all know, have you ever thought about what they all have in common? They all had the chance to start off on the right foot, often thanks to an entrepreneur in their family tree, but what were the strengths that led them to where they are, several generations later?
They all organized themselves to understand what’s important in their family, with responsibilities, structures, a long-term family vision, and the spirit of staying together as a family, knowing where they come from and where they’re going, as a family.
I believe that as parents, we owe these lessons to our children, so that they can then pass them on to their own children. Because if it’s “just the money” that we leave them, well, it’s likely to last less long, and we risk having somewhat missed the mark.
