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Beginning with the Right Group of People
One of the trickiest questions families confront when beginning to consider having the important conversations they know they need to have about future wealth transitions, is where to begin.
Huge sub-components of that question are, whom to include, and when to start.
So “family inclusion” is the main subject we’re going to try to tackle this week, which is often not as simple as we’d hope.
Some aspect of these questions is typically one of the biggest obstacles that families need to overcome in order to get moving.
Who’s at the Table, Five Years Later
Because this topic is so central to my work, and because I’ve been writing weekly for over a decade on these matters, I’ve already addressed it in some fashion on various occasions.
For instance, in 2019, in Continuity Planning, Who’s at the Table, we looked at this from the perspective of involving some of the members of the family into conversations early, because many of these people will be affected by the plans, so it would be nice for them to at least understand them.
Back in 2015, in Successful Planning, Who Should Be Involved, we talked about Hurricane Katrina survivors who lamented that they were not being invited into any discussions on how to help them, despite the fact that whatever plans were being made were ostensibly being made FOR them.
Let’s just say that I’m a firm believer in more open and inclusive discussions, wherever possible.
Primum Non Nocere – First Do No Harm
Today, I’m coming at this topic fresh off viewing a number of team presentations that I was lucky enough to sit in on as part of Family Enterprise Canada’s Family Enterprise Advisor program, where I act as a project team advisor.
A huge part of the year-long program is a team project, where a multi-disciplinary team of participants find and work with a real family.
A key ethical learning instilled by the program comes straight from the medical world and the Hippocratic Oath, and they’re instructed to abide by: “First, Do No Harm”.
Many of the teams mentioned this during their project presentations to their peers, so it was clearly part of their key learnings.
Let’s move to that angle now.
Who Might Be Harmed by This Work?
The first and most obvious part of this inquiry is surely to consider who might be harmed by this work of inviting the family to discuss the subject of an upcoming wealth transition.
Some families, including financially successful ones, have members who don’t get along well with everyone else.
Some families have members who have mental health issues that could be triggered or worsened during discussions of the nature we’re looking at.
The family leaders ultimately must make the decision of whom to include, but the facilitator should also be part of those discussions around inclusion.
Please realize that I’m not talking about cutting people out of everything forever, we’re in the very early stages of a longer process now.
Who Might Cause Harm to Others in This Work?
Another angle to consider, which is usually pretty clear in some families, is whether or not there are any family members who they might want to exclude at this stage because of an expectation that they could harm others in the family during such family conversations.
Some families have members who do not play well with others, and sometimes especially other family members.
When possible, it may make sense to begin discussions without such “spit disturbers” present.
Erring on the Side of Caution
I firmly believe in erring on the side of caution at the outset, and starting with a smaller group.
This is truly a family decision, which the family leaders need to make after some serious thought and consultation, along with the advisor(s) who are going to lead the process.
My view is that starting with a small group, and then expanding the circle outward when it makes sense and when it is safe, makes the most sense.
Everyone Is Invited, Nobody Is Forced to Come
Eventually, you want to have a situation where the members of the family group are pretty consistent, so that you can have a series of regular family meetings where important matters are shared and discussed openly.
It’s always nice to have it so that everyone is invited to join these discussions, but nobody is forced to join if they do not want to be there.
These questions are not as simple as they seem at times, and they warrant serious deliberation to get them right.
