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A Fresh Inspiration Triggers Others from the Past
Since I discovered this field of supporting families in their generational transition challenges a bit over a decade ago, I’ve come across lots of ideas that have made me nod my head in agreement.
Many of the common ones have faded into the background due to repetition, and then someone expresses one of them in a certain context and in a fresh way, and they come crashing back into mind like a tidal wave.
Watching a webinar recently, I had one such experience, and it called to mind other times when expressions around related ideas also hit me it memorable ways.
Thankfully I have a weekly outlet for my thoughts as a way to unpack and share them; thanks for coming along for the ride again.
Business and Wealth Continuity Are the Easier Part
If you aren’t aware of Dave Specht’s Authors at Drucker series yet, you may want to check it out. His monthly interviews are archived on Youtube.
The most recent one featured two authors of a great book I just got from Amazon, and it features the quote that inspired this post, from Sara Hamilton of FOX (Family Office Exchange).
Right around the 51-minute mark, she states that keeping the family together is the hardest challenge of all, compared to keeping the business or the wealth together.
It was one of those lines that had everyone in the know nodding along, but that most people wouldn’t truly appreciate, unless they had first hand experience working with families in such situations.
I jotted it down as a blog post idea, and in the intervening days, it brought back other memories of well stated ideas to share around this concept.
Why Does Everyone Want to Deal with the Wealth?
Another great resource for this field is the website CanadianFamilyOffices.com, and not just because if you plug my name into their search bar, a bunch of stories in which I’m quoted will show up. (Along with several that I’ve written for them).
This particular one is from a respected colleague, and the money quote is right in the title.
The headline reads, “Advising in Canada ‘All About the Money, Because That’s the Easy Part’”.
Allow me to note that it’s the easy part for the advisors, and usually the easy part for the families too.
That’s what makes this “family circle” work such a challenge, most advisors aren’t comfortable doing it, and so that makes it difficult to engage the families who actually need the support.
The Scariest Runs on the Mountain
So keeping the family together is the hard part, and everyone prefers to deal with the money because that’s the easy part, but what about the professionals who actually do work with the families?
Well, we come from a variety of fields of origin, and even for those with lots of training and experience on the human and psychology side, this is complex and challenging work.
As I noted in Building Processing Time into your Process, even seasoned facilitators find that this work with entire family systems is like going to your favourite ski hill and seeking out the “Double Black Diamond” runs.
That line with the skiing analogy is one I’ve repeated on a few occasions, and I’ll continue to do so (until this gets easy, which it never will).
It’s Great Being Rich, Thanks, But….
And as long as I’m reminiscing about nice quotes from colleagues about this work, I’ll tip my hat once again to Travis Harms, whose line I shared in Finding the Liquidity Sweet Spot for your Family.
He was talking about families who’ve achieved a high level of wealth, but who’ve chosen to keep the bulk of it concentrated in ways that minimize the ability of the heirs to overly enjoy the fruits of that wealth.
Here’s how I put the quote from a family member that I love:
“Yes, thanks, it’s great that we’re wealthy.
But, can we also have some money?”
When you think about that line, it nicely underscores why this family work is as difficult as it is.
The risk preferences and lifestyles of various family members can be all over the proverbial map.
Helping families reconcile all of these issues, around topics that make for difficult conversations, is fraught with danger.
As families grow there are natural forces that drive each branch and person towards a desire for independence.
There are lots of good reasons to try to resist those urges and stay together, but that doesn’t make it easy!
