The Area Where So Many Things Break Down
Anyone who has any experience dealing with families in business together will recognize that such situations are rife with challenges.
Many experts say that situations involving the family relationships are more often the cause of business failures than problems that are “strictly business”.
Regular readers of mine will not be surprised to hear that I agree.
Yet so many professionals and experts who support business families concentrate their services in the business and ownership areas, and prefer not to get involved with all that “Family Crap”.
So this week we’re going to look at how some successful families actually deal with their “Family Crap”, and I’ll share some ideas that help families move forward.
All Families Need to Convene
The initial angle I was going for as I conceived this week’s post was around the verb “to convene”.
My good friend Mr. Google can help us out here, if I just enter the word “convene”, he returns with:
Come or Bring Together for a Meeting or Activity, Assemble
I think that definition is helpful, because it puts a bit more formality around the idea of having a family meeting.
It speaks to the idea that someone has to initiate the “bringing together” and the fact that there will be some “activity” going on.
I’m often in a position to suggest that families get together more often to discuss important matters, and I’m starting to like the word “convene”.
They Need to Convene Regularly
So once we’ve agreed that convening family members is a worthwhile exercise, there are still a few other key elements we need to consider.
Quite often family elders and leaders will clearly understand that sharing information about how family assets are owned and organized is something that needs to be shared more broadly within the family group.
See Inheriting Wealth, AND Structures
And those folks also typically just want to get it all over with in one fell swoop. I get it, it probably won’t be fun, so let’s just rip the band-aid off and be done with it.
The problem with that approach is that it almost never works well, even if it feels good in the short term.
See The Dimmer Switch Vs. the On/Off
I always suggest that families get into the habit of convening regularly.
Letting the Clarity Evolve Over Time
When families establish a process of having regular meetings (quarterly or annually are popular intervals), information can be shared gradually, and family members who are usually not in the loop can absorb the information, and learn as they go.
The biggest problem with the “one big meeting” to get it over with, is that many family members end up drinking in the information through the proverbial fire hose, which is not the ideal way to satisfy one’s thirst.
So you want to get in the routine of convening the family regularly, and that’s still not enough.
You also want to ensure that the meetings are productive.
The meetings need to be set up so that when a meeting ends, things are more clear to everyone than when the meeting started.
CRAP: Convening Regularly And Productively
Apologies for waiting so long to get to the punch line, but the best way to finally deal with the “family crap” that so many families and their advisors try so hard to avoid, is to counter that crap with CRAP.
Convene Regularly And Productively, i.e. CRAP!
You won’t be surprised to learn that I believe the key to “productively” is to have a neutral third party run these meetings.
Families all have their set ways of dealing with each other in the family group, or “family system”.
See Diving into a Family System Without Making a Splash
What I’m proposing in this “convening” is something special enough to warrant hiring an outsider to handle the facilitation of these meetings.
Yes, at first it seems like a luxury. In the long run, it is the biggest difference maker.
No, This Is NOT Easy. Most Families Don’t Do This, Either.
I’ve tried to simplify things here because simple is easier to understand. But simple doesn’t mean easy, and I’m not saying this work is easy to do.
Most families don’t do this.
Most families don’t have as much at stake as families who own a business or assets together, that they are hoping to transition to the next generation.
That work takes planning, and making sure everyone is clear on what’s happening.
Start taking care of the Family CRAP.