On the Challenges of Finding Purpose and Family Engagement

Not Something to Check Off a To-Do List

This week’s blog comes from the combined inspiration of a couple of posts I came across on my favourite social platform over the past few weeks.

As I consider their authors, it strikes me that one is from a man and the other from a woman, one is from the US, the other from overseas, and one is from a Gen-Xer and the other a Millennial (OK, I’m guessing ages here).

I believe diversity is a strength, as regular readers will recognize.

So, I saw an opportunity to combine these inspiring missives into one of my own, and now we’ll see if I’m up to the task. Wish me luck!

Section 01

Invitation or Interest? (Chicken or Egg?)

Taking the posts in the order in which I saw them, Andrew Pitcairn shared some thoughts on engaging the rising generation in a family enterprise context.

He nicely sums up a familiar refrain that so many of us in this field are familiar with:

Even if you haven’t seen this, you can certainly see the challenges this poses in any family enterprise situation.

He adds: “Two sides. Same longing. Zero conversation.”

As a fourth-generation family member who also serves as his eponymous multi-family office’s Ambassador and Governance Chair, Andrew has surely seen this dozens of times, right up close.

Section 02

The Problem with Purpose

Less than a week later, on LinkedIn once again, I stumbled upon a “slideshow” type post from Jessica McGawley of Dallington.

(Stay tuned for an upcoming podcast with her as my guest!)

The first slide caught my eye:

Hmmm, I wondered to myself, what’s wrong with purpose?

She continued, after grabbing my attention,

A-Ha, I quickly realized, that IS a problem I’m seeing…

Section 03

Go Find your Purpose, We’ll Wait

I replied to some comments to that post with:

Some of our major life occurrences occur within predictable age ranges, like puberty, menopause, and midlife crisis (?)

Finding one’s purpose is NOT one of those, so while encouraging young family members to go out and do that, with the expectation that it’ll come within a certain timeframe, isn’t helpful.

In fact, it’ll likely add even more pressure to them and is about as helpful as encouraging them to go out and find their soulmate/life partner. (Please don’t do that either).

Section 04

Back to the Invitation to Engagement

Let’s circle back to the first post’s idea of inviting the rising generation family members to engage with the family around the future of its enterprise.

Pitcairn’s lament is that there’s “Zero Conversation”, and that’s the clue we should be working with.

The idea is to create the conditions for conversations that show all family members all the possible ways that they can engage with the business(es) and ownership of the family’s assets.

Show them, ask them. Find opportunities, however small.

If family meetings seem like a no-brainer here, that’s because it is.

But thinking of an idea and implementing it are very different animals, with much different levels of commitment and effort!

Section 05

Talking Isn’t Enough — Action Is Needed

My comment on McGawley’s post about purpose continued, “something about ‘discover’ vs ‘find’ feels like it might be useful here”.

My friend Mr. Google came through again. To wit:

One’s purpose needs to be discovered, through action, and conversations including invitations to engage with the family, for support initially, and to support, eventually, are great ideas.

Section 06

Creating the Forum for Key Family Conversations

The work I do with families isn’t rocket science, yet most families have difficulty engaging and instituting regular forums during which to have these discussions.

But they are so worth it.

Reach out for support, we’re here waiting.